Weigh In: Week 37 + 1

142 lbs. (Yes, that's less than last time. Evidently, horrible stomach illnesses and an ever bigger baby pushing on my stomach, which makes me not hungry, are helping me out here at the end.) And I'm term.  I met with the midwife on Wednesday, who told me that I should "call if I need" them.  She also said that Vanderbilt is really strict about the GBS thing and would make the baby stay for 48 hours whether she got the antibiotics during delivery or not, so we know we're looking a full 48-hour post-partum stay.  Save three shifts next week, we're prepared for Wes to take full care of Oliver while I'm in the hospital, so it's important for us to know there'll be no early discharge this time.  There was no vaginal exam (in my experience, they usually don't until 40 weeks), so I've no idea if there's any progress towards labor, and any dilation or effacement wouldn't be a promise of that anyway.  She told me to come back in 7-10 days, so I'm scheduled for this Friday (10 days) and hoping I don't have to go!  I've been having lots of Braxton Hicks contractions, which might be part of why I'm not always sleeping well, and last night I'm pretty sure I had some real contractions -- which led me to wake up thinking I might be spending the day in labor.  Instead, I spent it in Wal-mart and Lowe's with Wes and Oliver.

I feel, in the interest of full disclosure, that I should admit that the end of this pregnancy has not been the most fun.  I preface it with that because I really and truly do not mean to complain.  I have my whiny moments, but in a contemplative space like this, I'm hardly going to whine about the few discomforts that come with such a wonderful and miraculous event.  Wonders and miracles aside, though, I don't want anyone to think that there isn't some discomfort with the process, or that all pregnant women feel great and go on to smooth and easy deliveries.  I know that there are friends and even some extended family members who read this who are pregnant themselves, looking at what's ahead, or thinking about becoming pregnant or comparing theirs to mine, and I don't want to make it seem like it's all roses and daisies.  It's worth it -- for sure.  I'd put up with all again in a heartbeat for more kids.  But this time around, as I've mentioned, has been harder.  My sleep is mixed now.  Some nights, like last night, are pretty good and I wake up feeling mostly rested.  Some nights, like Christmas Eve, are bad, and I wake up feeling groggy and fatigued but simply cannot fall asleep.  My back is sore, as are my hips.  [TMI warning here: Read ahead at your own risk.]  My breasts are tender, and there are things leaking all over the place.  And to add injury to insult, I have now developed something I'd heard about when pregnant with Oliver but somehow never suffered with -- hemorrhoids.  One in particular is large and terribly uncomfortable.  If I spend much of the day sitting upright or standing or lifting things -- which is basically how I spend every day, all day -- I'm constantly in pain down there.  I'm applying the normal salves and such for the situation, but Roy, as I've affectionately named him, has no plans on retiring until the baby comes out and removes her head from my groin.  He is simply unwilling to negotiate.  I'm sure it will make labor and delivery that much more fun.

That said, the biggest difference between the end of this pregnancy and the last is how ready I am to have her out.  I don't know if it's because I'm uncomfortable.  I mean, the first week or so after a delivery is usually not full of good rest and physical comforts, what with the healing and bleeding and the sweating and the breastfeeding.  I don't know if it's because I'm not in the midst of something else that is consuming all my attention -- like teaching school, which is what I was doing last time.  And, in fact, I'm actually counting down the days until I have to go back to that something else -- being in school -- and want her here for as much of that time as possible.  Or most likely, it's that this time, I have some idea of what I'm looking forward to, what it's like to go through labor and delivery and see that person who's been poking her foot in my side for weeks now.  What it's like to hold her and smell her and dress her.  And looking forward to seeing her with her daddy and brother.  I keep telling her how great they are, that she needs to come out and meet them.  If a kid were ever ready for and wanting a sibling, it's Oliver.  I feel no guilt about ending his days as an only child or making him "not the baby" (which he certainly is not, even without a younger sibling).  And so, I wake up every morning wondering, Is today the day?  Something I never went through with Oliver, even though he didn't really come early.  I know, on the one hand, that she'll probably be here in the next 2 weeks.  But I also know that it could still be 4 more if she were to come really late for some reason, which is scary.   I don't want to hang out with Roy that long, and I really, really want to meet her.

Where there once was a belly button

There is no more.

Weigh-In: 35+2

142.5 lbs, and five weeks, more or less, left. I am very much looking forward to meeting this little girl, and soon.  I stood in her room last night, looking around, peeking through the clothes we've accumulated in the 18 weeks since we found out she's a she, and just got excited about being about a month from my due date.

I'm definitely feeling the third trimester. I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping recently, and then I can't decide if I should nap in the middle of the day or hope that, if I don't, it will make me that much more sleepy at night to sleep soundly. Oliver will go to daycare all this week, so I have the option -- though my remaining schoolwork would suggest that I should skip the nap and do the work.  My butt gets really sore, no matter where I sit, which I have to do a lot of to get said schoolwork done.  The baby is really pushing against my pubic bones and head-butting my cervix at times.  I think she's dropped because I can finally breathe a little easier, and she's definitely pressing right on my bladder.  (I went to use the bathroom yesterday, and Wes just looked at me and said, "You've got to be kidding me," since I'd gone not 30 minutes prior.)  The midwife last week told me that they wouldn't stop labor at this point -- maybe some IV fluids to make sure I'm not dehydrated, but nothing more.  And at 37 weeks, I can stay home and labor however I want.  Oliver had to come with me to that appointment.  He thought it was pretty funny to see me get on the scale and lie down on the examination table, something he normally does while I watch on.  I did, at the midwife's request, do a birth plan (I call it "birth preferences") since I want no separation of care after the baby is born.  It's short, straightforward, and of course subject to change as situations necessitate.  The midwives scan it into my file, so I guess they really do look at it when I get to the hospital for delivery.

The picture is from Friday night, when I went to Wes's work holiday party.  I left him with some colleagues to enjoy himself a bit longer while I went home to relieve the babysitter and my sore belly and back after several hours of standing.  I took the picture with a self-timer, hence the distant view.  There's a bow right at my belly, so it makes me look a little bigger than I really am.

There's a couple inches of snow on the ground outside this morning, so Wes took Oliver to daycare because he doesn't want me driving.  He's seen two 30+-week pregnant women in the emergency room recently for injuries from car accidents, and I think it's made him nervous.  I think it also made him realize that we're probably going to have a baby soon.  Yesterday, he asked where the car seat is for the baby and where Oliver is going while I'm in labor.  It's like he suddenly realized I'm pregnant!

Weigh-In: Week 31 + 5

139 lbs.  I don't know that I look any different here than in my last belly picture six weeks ago, but here she is!  I feel like I've grown, and I think she has, too.  I saw the midwife last Tuesday, and everything looked good.  She did say that I measured a little behind at the last two appointments, but I think it was within a week of where I am, so I don't think it really matters.  I'm hoping that means a slightly smaller baby and not someone planning to come late (though I don't know that there's any relationship there).  I go back to the midwife in 2 1/2 weeks at 35 weeks for my regular check-up and my Group B Strep test.  I was positive for this last time, which means I'm more likely to be positive this time.  It isn't really a problem except that I have to go to the hospital as soon as my water breaks, even if I'm not having contractions yet.  Fortunately, last time my water broke right before I started pushing and about 20 minutes before I delivered -- very fortunate since I hadn't had the antibiotics and Ollie's aplasia made him more vulnerable.  So if the delivery progresses the same way again, it won't be a problem -- just a bit of a nuisance trying to make sure I get to the hospital in time.  I'll also be curious to see if she's still measuring within a week of our count (I say January 15 based on ovulation; the midwives say January 11 based on baby's measurements at 8, 12, and 18 weeks).  I think I have to go weekly after this appointment, though I'm not entirely sure why.  My midwife in Chicago didn't check for dilation or effacement until 40 weeks (by which time I had already had Oliver), and I'm hoping this one won't either.  I know too many women who sat at 1 or 2 or 3 cm dilated for weeks, thinking any day could be "the" day.  I'm already anticipating this too much to have any misleading information make me think it's more imminent than it really is.  The midwife did say she's already head down, with her head low -- low -- in my pelvis.

We are finally starting to do the real preparations to bring a baby home in the next 6-8 weeks.  The baby's rug came.  It's not nearly as bold as it looked on the computer screen, but it still goes great in the room.  With that, we're trying to choose a paint color.  I think blue or green are most likely to look good, but I'm concerned about it being too dark.  We have splotches of four different paint colors all over the room to try and choose something.  I've picked up a few things for her recently -- rattles, bibs, and a baby seat.  I'm getting a diaper stacker for the crib to store diapers and wipes, since the dresser isn't close enough to use like we did in Chicago.  The plan is to paint the nursery on Thanksgiving, when Wes has the day off (it takes one parent to paint and one parent to keep Oliver from "helping").  Once the room is painted, I'm giving myself the go-ahead to fully nest -- empty out the closet, store the things we don't need, get diapers and blankets ready, put bottles downstairs, sterilize the breast pump.  All those exciting things.  I have decided not to pack a hospital bag ahead of time.  I figure I'll have plenty of time to do that once I go into labor, and if we have to get there quickly, it's not like I need to anything to give birth.  Wes can bring me clothes and things for the baby afterwards if we need them.  The beauty of living one mile from the hospital :)

I take a tour of the L&D in two weeks.  Somehow the thought of just being in that space is exciting.

Weigh-In: Week 25+5

134 pounds.  I feel like I look very big in this picture, both in the belly and in my face, but I know I'm gaining weight at an appropriate weight, so I'm not going to worry too much.  Plus I have stopped weighing myself constantly.  I step on the scale once a week at most.  I'm getting better, I promise.  I can definitely see how much bigger I am from 23 weeks but think I'm smaller (or maybe just carrying differently) than I was with Oliver at this point.

I am getting more and more limited by the belly recently.  It's harder to get in and out of the chaise and roll over in bed, and my back gets sore.  I feel better laying on my back for a little while, but I know I'm getting to the point where that's not recommended.  I've definitely had more lower back, sciatic, and pelvic pain this time than I did when pregnant with Oliver.  I don't say that to complain -- it's all a part of pregnancy, and well worth it for the end result.  But I've definitely noticed that these discomforts started a lot earlier this time.  I remember being well into my third trimester -- my baby shower at least -- when the long walks and days of cleaning got to me.  Now I can go for 2-3 hours at most before I need to sit down.  I've even noticed my feet swelling a little if I'm still at a desk or table.

I do love seeing the baby kick and roll in my belly.  It's especially obvious (to me, at least) when I sit at the computer like I am now, legs out in front of me.  Oliver was reading But Not the Hippopotamus last night, and I asked him to read to the baby.  He pulled up my shirt to my bare belly and then turned the book so she could "see" the pictures!  I've never done this, so he came up with it on his own.  (Perhaps he remembers it from being in utero.)

Third trimester is around the corner.  Unfortunately, delivery still seems ages away.

Weigh-In: Week 23+1

This is my bare belly.  I know.  It just has to be done sometimes, though, because how else will I remember.  I like watching my belly grow, even if I don't like gaining weight.  But more on that later.


At 23 weeks, the baby is almost to viability, which means nothing more than, were she born right now, she'd have about a 50-70% chance of surviving -- up from the 20-35% chance before 24 weeks.  It's amazing to learn that 90% of babies born at 26-27 weeks survive.  Survive, of course, doesn't mean lead a normal, healthy life, but I know, like any pregnant woman, that no baby, even born at term, is not guaranteed that.  This is about the time, though, that I start to think seriously about the fact that a baby might actually be born in a few months -- and I have an overwhelming desire to prepare for that in some way.  Since we pretty much have everything we need, and I know more or less what I need to know about childbirth and infants, this mostly involves doing the few things that still need done, short of unpacking the baby stuff (since it's still a bit early for that -- I'm saving it for the beginning of winter break in December).  

I did start to get a few of the things we need or want for her, though.  A friend bought us a few girl clothes right after we found out the gender, so we have a few onesies and a pair of pink ruffle-butt pants.  My mom added some sleep sacks and pink baby socks.  I've also bought a few things I've seen and liked, including her "coming home" pants and some cute denim rompers for when she gets a little bigger.  I also got two Jamie Rae hats, which I've given in the past as gifts to moms expecting girls.  The darker one on the left is for her coming home outfit, also.  Mom also contributed an outfit that will likely not get much wear, but will certainly show up in some pictures -- a precious, newborn, yellow-rosebud gown with matching bonnet, with a white ruffle-butt diaper cover and the tiniest little slippers.  It was a gift given to her when I was born -- finally, a girl for the Neiheisels -- and now our little girl will get to wear it.  I, of course, was born in May, and our daughter is due in January -- so like I said, she probably won't make a lot of appearances in it.  But special nonetheless.  I have a few more things coming in the mail -- a few cute onesies that were on sale, some Baby Legs (never used before, but I like the idea of them for keeping warm without needing pants).  Also, in what has become a family tradition, I got the baby her own witty t-shirt for her coming-home outfit (Oliver's was #3 on this list, and baby girl's is from the same website).  I figure each of our kids will have their own coming-home outfit that doesn't get passed down to younger siblings, but with this common thread among them.  And then, like my mom, I can pass them on to them when they have kids or are just ready to inherit some of those kinds of memories.  I also ordered the baby her very own pink blanket (the same Oliver's blue one from Little Giraffe) and a lovey.  I had already decided to get her one in the same line as Ollie's, which is the Nici Plush line.  When I started searching, though, I remembered that Lovie is German.  Nici is a German line and is sold almost exclusively in Europe (and, as it turns out, Australia).  This caused me to remember that I bought Lovie in a German airport my senior year of college as a gift to Wes, which explains Lovie's ethnic origins.  Fortunately I found a great online store that sells the line with a reasonable flat rate for shipping to the states.  I hemmed and hawed about getting back-up loveys for both of them, but Ollie isn't overly attached to his, and since I know where I can get more, I'm going to sit on my hands for the moment.  There's more on the list, of course.  Mostly clothes, an infant seat (for keeping her off the floor but among the action in the living room), and a few things for me (like a nursing cover), but those can wait.  For now, I like the idea that we have our version of the essentials for this new person, even if she is a few months away from coming home (we hope).

I've also started to do something I did with Ollie from pretty early on -- read to her.  I don't remember when I started with Oliver, but I did it almost every night.  I read him board books, the ones others or we bought for him, and even worked up to at least one chapter book (The Phantom Tollbooth).  I actually saw a study the other day that said that kids read to in utero were more vigorous eaters (which clearly worked with Ollie), so hey, couldn't hurt.  Plus it's like I'm starting to work in some time just for her.  I know a lot of parents worry about their first when they're having a second -- the older kid won't get enough attention or whatever -- but that doesn't concern me.  Ollie does fine, will have his moments, but will ultimately get through it all, I think.  And I know Wes likes his age better than newborns, so G will always have dad for focused playtime.  I'm actually more concerned about the littler ones getting to be their own people -- getting some version of the attention and special focus that a first one usually gets (and Ollie certainly has).  It's never the same, I know, but I just want each kid to feel like he or she has some special place all his or her own in our family.  And so the baby gets her own reading time at night.  I decided that this time, though, since I'm already reading a lot of the board books and kids' books every day, that the baby and I will do a longer piece, a few pages at a time.  So last night, Wes off for a night shift, we snuggled into bed and read Chapter 1 of Anne of Green Gables.  I've seen the movie version of this many times, but I've never read the book, so I thought it was a good choice.  The book was written in the early to mid-1900's, so the vocabulary and syntax are pretty mature for a 23-week fetus, but I think she appreciates the narrative.  I swear I could hear her laugh last night when I read about Mrs. Rachel Lynde seeing Matthew Cuthbert go by in his best clothes on his way out of Avonlea, wondering to herself -- and then to Marilla -- about where he was off to.  And clucking at Marilla when she found out what he was up to. I figure if we're still not done when she comes (it's a long book as it includes Anne of Avonlea), we can read it together at bedtime nursing sessions.

So that's us in a gourd (it's fall, and it just doesn't seem like all that would fit in a nutshell).  For those who are wondering, I was 130.5 on Friday and then 132 on Sunday and today.  How, I ask, does one (or even one plus) gain 1.5 lbs. in a day?  I know she's growing, I know I'm supposed to gain weight, but I just can't stop myself from looking.  My only consolation is that most websites say I'm likely to have gained around 15 pounds by now, and I'm at 7-10, depending on what you count as my starting weight.  So I'm going to try to lay off the peanut butter cups -- always my nemesis -- but not let myself go hungry.  I'm not fretting about it, honest.

Weekly Weigh-In: Week 20+1

This picture is actually from a little more than a week ago, after my graduate school orientation.  I feel like my belly is out there even more than usual now, but I also think that the view from the top makes it seem bigger than it probably appears to onlookers.  I'm still noticeably smaller than with Oliver (see comparison picture here), but that's partly because I'm smaller all over.  My two pairs of non-maternity shorts are almost at the end of their wearability, but fortunately I still have lots of stretchy summer dresses (like this one) to wear for the next several weeks.  Once fall is here, I have two pairs of maternity jeans and two pairs of maternity khakis to get me through until the really cold winter sets in.

I've been trying to stay more active now that school is in session and I spend so much of my day sitting in class or at my desk in the office (our pod, as it's called).  I swam last week, once for real at the student recreation center and once with Oliver just for fun.  I pushed him to campus in the stroller one day, mowed the lawn, and did lots of yard work.  The baby lets me know when I need to take a rest.  I tend to get lightheaded and just overall don't feel well.  So I sit on the chaise with my feet up, drink water or lemonade, and watch a 30-minute episode of something taped (or, increasingly, check email or do schoolwork).

I am, as of this morning, 126.5 lbs.  That up again from my last weight, a 1.5 lb. I think.  Wes keeps reminding me that it's okay.  And the baby's biggest job at this point is gain weight, so I will, too.  I have been more lax about having some ice cream or (my recent indulgence) dark chocolate-covered almonds, but I'm trying to keep the portions and frequency reasonable. I don't want to have to kill myself after this is over to lose the weight! I know that at this point I should just try to be healthy and stop stepping on the scale so often.  Old habits die hard, though.  Doing so helped me keep my weight in check pre-baby, and now it's hard to stop weighing and worrying.

My next midwife's appointment isn't for about 3 1/2 weeks, but since the little girl is moving more and more, I know she's doing okay (or ostensibly so) in the meantime.  I can see some slight movement on the outside (still very low), but mostly it's her rolls and gentle nudges that I notice.  Here's to a healthy second half of the pregnancy!

Weigh In: Week 16

124.5 pounds. I went up, then back down after the peaches, then back up to more than this, and then it settled back here. I'm satisfied. That's 2.5 pounds over my lowest weight, and still a little less than where I started from. I think I need to accept that at this point, I'm just going to gain weight. And that's okay.

My belly is starting to really show. My shirts tend to be looser, and my shorts are fitting below the belly (I can still wear 2-3 pairs on non-maternity shorts), so it's not terribly obvious normally, but in a dress, I'm clearly either pregnant or carrying some really serious weight right at my waistline. I haven't really taken a belly picture before now because I felt like there wasn't much to see, but I don't want to keep waiting and find that time has escaped me.

I'm feeling movement, very sporadically, and getting very excited about our next ultrasound.

(For a comparison picture when pregnant with Oliver, see here.)

As days go by

One of the hardest parts about the end of pregnancy is the not knowing when. I'm not ancy for him to come. On the contrary, the further I get into the school year, the easier it will be for me to transition out of the classroom and the better it will be for our bank coffers. There just seems to be such lack of clarity about the actual due date, though. I know for sure the late of my LMP, and for that matter, we know for sure the date of conception. My LMP gives me a due date of September 8, making me almost 38 weeks pregnant. My date of conception -- with a longer luteal phase -- is about 5 days behind, making me a little more than 37 weeks pregnant. At my ultrasound on February 29, the baby measured 6 6/7 weeks, which puts my due date at September 17 and makes me 36 4/7 weeks pregnant. The midwife, however, gave me a due date of September 19, which makes me 36 2/7 weeks pregnant. That's a range of almost 2 weeks, which when you get to the end of things seems like it could make a difference. The ultrasound seems the most reliable, but are all embryos the same size early on? Could the ultrasound tech have been off by a couple days?

The ticker on the baby's blog is set for September 17, since I've been counting up weeks based on the first-trimester ultrasound. When people ask my due date, I say September 19. Fortunately, it seems he's going to come in a window such that the delivery won't be affected by the confusion -- no one will think I'm too early and, hopefully, won't worry he's coming too late.

For someone who loves Microsoft Outlook calendar with a passion, I think I'm handling this ambiguity in dates rather well.

Growing, growing...

Lopsided

Perhaps the picture does not reveal it as well as I thought, but you can kind of see how lopsided my belly is. The baby spends all day moving his butt from one side of my belly button to the other, and then one side pokes out more than the other. I have to wonder where everything is going to go for the next 7 weeks.

26 4/7 weeks

Thanks to my MIL for the beautiful dress. It was a birthday present!

Growing, growing...

The end of the day, after dinner. But who am I kidding? It's getting big.

I could be wrong...

But I think I'm definitely pregnant. There is certainly a baby belly there now. And my feet are disappearing.

6 6/7 weeks and 13 2/7 weeks

For the record, I now weigh 5 lbs. less than I did at that first appointment. Evidently my body is taking years-old stores of fat from other places on my body (thighs first, please) and relocating it to my midsection. Please forgive the naked bellies. Wes prefers the au natural shot.