Every once in a while, I get a few hours or even a day with just one of the kids. I had that often when they were small -- years, of course, with Oliver before Emmeline came alone, then one summer that Emme stayed home with me while Oliver was in daycare, and much of the spring with Zola. But it's different when they're older and can really enjoy the day and me -- and I them.
This afternoon, I picked up Emmeline from daycare at 2:15PM to take her to another post-surgical appointment. (Aside: her ankle is healing nicely. The front looks quite good now, but the back is a little less healthy. One large area on the side is still "declaring itself," but, while I don't speak plastic surgery, I'm pretty sure it's saying that it's dead and the area will have to scar over.) I had to wake her up from a dead sleep at daycare. It's only on the days I have to fetch her early that she ever naps at daycare, and today was one of those days. I tried to rouse her gently, but she was so sleepy that I finally had to just pick her up. We got to the doctor's office a little early, and after she played in the play area and on my phone for a bit, we saw the surgeon. She snuggled in my lap for the exam, which is always so nice. After we waited in the front of the office again to schedule her next appointment. There was a newborn baby there for an appointment, and I flashed back to her first appointment with Dr. Chester, when Emme was about the same age as that little, tiny baby. I can hardly believe it's been three years.
After the appointment we drove to the area mall to drop off our gifts for three angel tree kids. I'd taken the whole crew to Target on Sunday (Zola on back, Emme in the cart, Oliver walking, which is usually a safe bet) to shop for them -- Abram, age 5, Joselin, age 2, and Yasmine, age 1. But I wasn't going to drag all three into the mall to drop off the gifts. Emme didn't have a shoe on this afternoon because it irritates her ankle, so I put her in the back carrier and let her ride along. We dropped off the gifts, and then I took her to see the mall Christmas tree. In true Self-child fashion, she dropped her jaw over the Christmas trees and gave not a second glance to the big man in the red suit sitting in the middle of all of them. When she saw the big one that goes all the way to the ceiling, she said, "Wow" and just stared up for a while. Afterwards, I took her to Panera for a smoothie. We sat and chatted, and she made all the people around us smile at her antics and adorableness. It was great. We came home about 30 minutes before the rest of the crew, sat on the couch, and "read" a Harry & David catalog together, naming the fruits and talking about the treats. Emme even went and got her favorite afghan to get cozy on the couch. She loved it. I loved it.
Part of the fun is the complete attention I can give one kid at a time. I can ask better questions, listen to answers, probe for more thinking, and enjoy their reaction to the world around them. Part of it is how the world interacts with us. People are much more likely to look kindly on at the cute little kid with mom than the three crazy kids with their even crazier mom. Being out with Emme usually gets comments like, "She adorable," or as in today's case, two college girls at Panera looking at her with big smiles at their faces. Being out with all three usually gets comments like, "Well you've got your hands full" and folks steering clear of us in the aisles at Target, even when everyone is behaving quite nicely.
I never had any plans of having an only child. Had that been our fate, I would have accepted it and enjoyed its benefits. But I had no doubt in my mind that I wanted more than one (or two...or). So I will bask in the moments I have with each kid one-on-one while likewise taking a moment to stop and drink in the sight of Zola following her older siblings around, of Oliver helping Zola down the stairs, of Oliver and Emmeline cuddled up on the couch watching the end of Pollyanna.
