She walks

2012-01-25T19:50:00.001-06:00

He splashes

2012-01-25T19:49:00.001-06:00

Chicken noodle soup from the Crock Pot

2012-01-22T19:29:00.004-06:00

And a chocolate chip cookie (also homemade!)

Big girl

2012-01-20T10:47:00.000-06:00

And so it happened once again that a child in my house turned one. Emme's first birthday came and went with less fanfare that I would probably have liked, but she's one and won't remember any of it. (Maybe I should have thought of that before I started documenting every detail of my kids' lives here...). The big birthday started on Friday with her one-year checkup at the pediatrician's office. Oliver came with us, both because it was an early appointment and I didn't want to take him to daycare before it, but also because I wanted to have his ears checked. He so often has ear infections without me knowing it, and if he continues to have them over the next six months, we may have to think about a second set of tubes (since the first has now completely fallen out). Emme measured in at 18 lbs., 9 oz. (15th percentile), 29 1/4" (55th percentile), and head circumference of 17 1/2" (30th percentile). She's little compared with Oliver's 23+ pounds at his first birthday (and tiny compared to his current 36 pounds!), but I love it. The nurse actually measured her twice because she hadn't gained any weight since her last appointment. I pointed out that her December weight included a 2-3 pound cast, but regardless she did fall in her percentile. Her surgery, the subsequent infection, and her general business probably account for the slowed growth, but there's no doubt she's overall healthy and developing right on schedule.

It turns out that both the kids had an infection in one ear (opposite the ears that were infected at Oliver's three-year checkup). They're both on amoxicillin. It baffles me because neither usually shows any indication that they're in any discomfort. Dr. Rauth is repeatedly shocked at how bad Oliver's ears can look (and yes, she does know what his ears look like healthy as a comparison) without him running a fever or complaining.

They both went to daycare after the appointment so that I could get some work done. Emme wore her first birthday onesie that Aunt Laura gifted her at Christmas. Before I picked them up in the afternoon, I stopped by Harris Teeter and got two helium birthday balloons that I knew they would like. I also put back up the multi-man tent in the living room, thinking that would be a big hit. The kids' enjoyed both he balloons and the tent (while Lucy liked neither).

Wes had an evening shift on Friday, so we waited to do cupcakes and such until Saturday. I did make Emme's mark in the doorway that night -- I thought it was more important that it was "official" than that Wes was there for it. Consequently, though, I couldn't get any really good pictures of Emme standing next to it. Oliver somehow helped me get the mark made, but that was about it. Both kids were in bed a little early, and I wasn't far behind.

Saturday morning the kids and I did a bunch of errands (it becomes a "bunch" when you go to both Target and Wal-Mart and Costco in the same morning). It ended, as I had repeatedly promised Oliver, with a trip to The Painted Cupcake for Emme's birthday cupcakes. Emme wore her "1" shirt that day, though it didn't make it all the way until dinner time. When evening finally came, Emme was fussy, Oliver wouldn't eat any of the dinner, and Wes and I were both in foul moods. But I didn't want to wait another night to celebrate, so I relented and let Oliver have half a cupcake, even though he didn't have any real dinner. He and Emme split a strawberry one with pink frosting. We did the one candle, we sang the song, and I think Emme went to bed thirty minutes later. We finished the mixed half dozen of cupcakes (some kind of chocolate, peanut butter, pumpkin, and others) over the next few days, and they were the best I've had in Nashville. Very moist, just enough icing, not sickeningly sweet.

There were no presents this year. I will be sure in future years, when she's old enough to remember, to have a birthday present for her, even so soon after Christmas. Wes's birthday (and my sister's) is right around Christmas, so I've heard enough to know that there has to be a distinct celebration for it to feel real.

So the day is done. I wish there had been something that felt a little more special. I wish I had better pictures to remember it all. But regardless, it happened, and I now once again have a one-year-old in my house. Oliver keeps asking if Emme is still a baby now that she's one and kind of walking. I don't know that I have an answer for him.

Three things about this picture

2012-01-13T19:42:00.002-06:00

1. Yes, he's holding the "3" backwards.

2. Yes, he's wearing beads in the bathtub.
3. Yes, my three-year-old is kind of ripped.

Goldilocks (and the bear)

2012-01-13T19:40:00.003-06:00

Howdy, dudey

2012-01-13T19:39:00.003-06:00

I failed, in the midst of the Christmas posts, to make mention of the gifts from Grandma Kay. I was reminded when I downloaded pictures from our camera tonight and found the pictures below. She brought us an array of fun things, but the best gift for the kids was undoubtedly these cowboy hats. Oliver was clearly a fan; Emme's still thinking about it.

Hair today (gone tomorrow)

2012-01-13T19:37:00.002-06:00

One year old

2012-01-13T19:34:00.000-06:00

Dear Husband, Part 56

2012-01-13T19:28:00.001-06:00

Take one deluxe iPlay Build a Road from the grandparents,
add a basic one from mom, plus dad's blocks from childhood.

Result: theyPlay

That's silly

2012-01-13T11:24:00.003-06:00

Yesterday morning, Oliver found a small block in his room that had some white paint on it. He told me, "I don't know who put it on there -- maybe daddy* or Emme or Lucy..."

"I don't think it was Lucy, Oliver," I said, hoping he would use some logic to realize that Lucy was an unlikely culprit, lacking opposable thumbs and all.

"Yeah," he said laughing. "Dogs don't have paint. That's just silly."

Indeed.

* The blocks were Wes's and his siblings' when they were younger, so it's likely that it actually was Wes, lest you think he was unfairly implicated.

Drying up

2012-01-08T18:35:00.002-06:00

Twenty-two bags. That's how many bags of frozen breast milk I stored in the deep freezer and used over the past year. Each Ziploc freezer bag held five bags of milk, with 10-14 ounces in each. That's 1100-1540 ounces of milk, or around 200 6-ounce bottles of milk. That doesn't include, of course, the nursing sessions, the pumped milk that went right into bottles, or the (very little) milk that got pumped and dumped because I didn't want to transport it. Tonight, I took the very last one -- the last little Lansinoh bag marked "Mother's Milk" -- out of Bag 22 to defrost for tomorrow. I haven't nursed since Friday afternoon, I think. I got down to just mornings, and I'm just basically stretching it out, nursing if I get too full until my body gets the message. I did it right this time, weaning slowly, starting last month when I had enough frozen milk to supplement while Emme was at daycare. Then last week we introduced cow's milk -- a cup or two of that, two bottles of breast milk, and nursing in the morning.

She's sleeping through the night again and for good I think -- with the surgery and four (!) new top teeth behind us. I know many would argue with me, but I think weaning has helped. She doesn't wake at night looking for food. She sleeps about twelve hours, and I'm making a big push to keep the pacifier to only bedtimes. (It got used a lot more when we were traveling and she was teething.) I'll try to eliminate it completely in the next month or two, once I know her sleep is set, but our pediatrician said that as long as it's only at bedtimes, it's not a major issue.

Weaning is always a mixed time for me emotionally. It, more than anything else, seems to signify for me the transition from infancy to toddlerhood. I like that I don't have to pump anymore -- I do truly loathe it. A time suck, if you'll forgive the phrase. I like that bottles will soon be done with. That I don't have to defrost milk ahead for daycare. Emme has been pretty disinterested in any real nursing sessions for probably more than a month. She wants to do it herself. She can't sit still long enough to nurse for very long, especially if we're around other people. It's a good time for both of us to be done. But still -- there's a sense of time passing when I wean; it's the end of something. Emme got absolutely nothing but breast milk, and that's kind of cool. (Oliver got some, but very little, formula -- and mind you, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just the absolutism of saying, "I exclusively breastfed for a year" that feels like an accomplishment for me.)

If I approximate, on the conservative side, how much milk I've made in the past year, it's well over 10,000 ounces of milk. That over 100 gallons. But now we're done -- and, I think, that's okay. The nursing bras have already been put away. Soon the nursing pads will disappear. In a few weeks, I can once again sleep without a bra on (another annoyance of nursing, but my letdown is too strong to go without), and I will probably switch back to the bras that I wore before Emme.

So I'm drying up -- and drying a few tears -- but for the most part I'll celebrate my newfound freedom, pat myself on the back for a second job well done, pour Emme another sippy cup of milk and myself a glass of wine. Cause baby, we're weaned.

Steps in the right direction

2012-01-08T18:34:00.001-06:00

Emme took her first steps today. She's been teetering for days, on the brink, but today we saw definitive steps. Since her last follow-up appointment with the plastic surgeon, we've been able to make the wrap on her foot very thin. I can get a regular sock over it and even a shoe on, though it doesn't fit very well. Since then, she's been standing much better. In the last day, I've seen her stand up in the middle of the floor without pulling up on anything, so I knew she was really close. Because she's not totally steady on her feet yet, I think we'll have a few weeks of a few steps and then falls before she's really up and walking well, but it's just amazing to see this tiny little girl up on her feet. I can tell she's excited, too, and ready to take off running!

We've hit a few more milestones recently, too. She's started signing. She definitely knows "more," kind of signs for "all done," and it starting to learn "food." She says "mama" and "dada," usually with meaning, and has a version of "all done" that I hear now and then. She can drink from a sippy cup, though it's pretty messy. We'll be phasing out the bottle by the end of the week, offering it for a few more days just until she gets completely used to the cup. She's also started drinking cow's milk now, and she seems to like it as much if not more than my break milk. Emme eats "school lunch" now -- they supplement some baby food if she doesn't get enough, and we're basically doing the same thing at home. She eats whole wheat crackers, goldfish, Cheerios, Cheetos, pieces of cheese, peas, carrots, green beans, small pieces of bread. Tonight she had some of the white chicken chili that I made for dinner -- jalapeño and all! It's a very messy process, letting little people learn to feed themselves, but it certainly makes for an easier mealtime. Besides, Emme has always been so independent, she much prefer to feed herself.

I have only a few more days of time with this "baby" as she will be one, and a true toddler, on Friday. With the semester starting tomorrow, it's hard not to think back to a year ago, about to start my classes and still pregnant, wondering when the little one would finally come. I can't help but be nostalgic for those new baby days, but I wouldn't go back if I could -- this past year with her has been so much fun. She is such a happy little girl, full of energy and spunk, and her presence in our family has brought out new sides of Wes and Oliver. I can only imagine what more the next year will bring with her in our lives.

Trash talk

2011-12-31T21:56:00.001-06:00

Walk softly

2011-12-31T21:48:00.004-06:00

Oliver's stick

Wes's stick

A boy and his drill

2011-12-25T19:48:00.003-06:00

So this is Christmas

2011-12-25T19:47:00.002-06:00

Oliver led the unwrapping efforts.

A rodent for the rodent

Winnie the Pooh Legos from sister

Playing with Pooh bear

Her very first teapot

Oliver's electric drill set

The Winnie the Pooh movie
that we saw in the theater.

Oliver's airport-in-a-box

Emme's roden hat

Christmas Eve jammies

2011-12-24T20:00:00.000-06:00

Where we walk

2011-12-23T19:26:00.001-06:00

These are from last Sunday out at Edwin Warner Park. I like this spot because it provides paved paths for 30-90 minutes of walking, which means I can take the double stroller and the dog, and it's really hilly. That adds up to some serious calorie burning!

From Oliver's point of view

Where do giggles come from?

2011-12-20T19:14:00.000-06:00

Dear Husband, Part 55

2011-12-20T19:10:00.001-06:00

Behind bars

2011-12-13T20:14:00.002-06:00

Eleven months old

2011-12-13T20:12:00.000-06:00

Sittin' pretty

Filet o' baby

2011-12-13T20:09:00.002-06:00

So here's the very long update on Emme's surgery.

Friday night

Emme had her surgery almost three weeks ago now, and a lot has happened since then. She recovered from the surgery itself pretty well. She woke a bit more often the first and second night but then went back to sleeping through the night. On the fourth or fifth night, though, she started sleeping horribly. For several hours after she went to bed I would hear her up there, rolling around and banging her cast against the side of the crib. She would cry this sad, pathetic cry. She would wail several times. No one slept well. One night, I put Oliver into bed with Wes and slept upstairs in the hopes that at least some people would wake more rested. Downstairs, without me getting in and out of bed, the boys got one solid night. Then we gave Emme a bath and rewrapped the cast and she went back to sleeping pretty normally. I even took her to the pediatrician's office one afternoon just to make sure she didn't have an ear infection -- she didn't.

We saw the surgeon one week post-op. She looked at Emme's abdominal incision and since the cast looked like it hadn't moved, sent us on our way. We went back two week post-op and got the cast off. And what we found was a relatively healthy looking graft with one spot that hadn't taken. One big, red, nasty spot on the side of her foot. At first I thought it was an ulceration from the cast rubbing again it (which happened on her heel after the first and second surgery), but it turns out that for some reason, the graft just hadn't taken there. Emme was funny getting the cast off. As soon as it was peeled away, she was wiggling her toes, stretching her ankle and rotating it, and scratching the dry skin under the cast. Dr. Chester rewrapped her foot with layers of Vaseline gauze (Xeroform), regular gauze, Kerlex, and an ace bandage and sent us our way with an appointment for five days later. Emme got fussy before we left, but I thought it was just because that sore spot had been irritated by her rotating her ankle around.

Her battle wounds

I dropped her back at daycare with things for the teachers to watch for and headed off for meetings and class. At 4:30, with more than an hour of class left to go, I got a call from the main teacher, Kendi, who told me that Emme had been fussy all afternoon -- unless she was being held. I ended up leaving a little early from class to pick the kids up and found Emme in the arms of one of the part-time student workers. She was a little sleepy but not terribly fussy the rest of the evening. The next morning, she seemed find. I took her to daycare but dosed her before she went in case she was in some kind of discomfort. I saw her at lunch and she seemed fine. I didn't even give her another dose of pain medication. Four hours later, I got a call from Kendi saying that Emme had a fever of 102.6. I immediately called Dr. Chester, then Wes, and then picked up the kids. Emme was really got and clearly uncomfortable. We hadn't changed her dressing yet since we'd decided to do evening changes. Wes got home, pulled the bandage off, and then called Dr. Chester to chat. Dr. Chester decided to hold off on any antibiotics until she saw Emme the next day.

Monday night

Emme was clearly feeling very poorly Friday night. She slept soundly, but when I got up to nurse at 5:30, she was burning up. Her temperature was 102.9. She slept most of Saturday morning. Wes took her to see Dr. Chester at 11:00 AM, then called less than an hour later to say he was taking Emme to the pediatrician's office. Dr. Chester wanted them to check her over and make sure there was no other explanation for the fever, then figure out what to do next. Wes saw the pediatrician who was available, not our usual doctor, and was less than impressed. He said he kind of wanted to send everyone else out and just do what needed done himself. They saw that her ears were still clear, took a urine sample (with a catheter -- ugh), and checked for any other issues but found none. They considered briefly admitting her to the Children's Hospital but decided instead to do two intermuscular shots of a broad spectrum antibiotic, one on Saturday and another on Sunday. Wes and a very tired Emme were home around an hour later. She slept much of the afternoon and had another solid night of sleep. She had a long afternoon with no wet diaper, which started to worry us, but then started peeing again late at night. We switched to twice-a-day bandage changes, using Silvadene on the spot where the graft didn't take.

Emme woke up the next morning with a fever, somewhere around 101. She was still pretty sleepy, went for her second shot, but then, according to Wes, was a little more active in the afternoon (while I was finishing my last paper for the semester in anticipation of her being home on Monday). She slept fine Sunday night.

Monday morning she woke up much more normal. She still had a 100 degree fever, but not even high enough that she'd be sent home from daycare. She was very active and just seemed much closer to normal. Dr. Chester said her foot looked much improved from the weekend and felt that, even though it didn't entirely make sense, the fever must have been from the graft. She's on Keflex orally three times a day for the next week. She still isn't at 98.6, but she's close enough. She went back to daycare on Tuesday and did fine. Dr. Chester thinks the spot the didn't take will be small enough to scar over and not need another graft, which was a consideration for a short time. She'll have to wear the bandage until the scar forms. We're hoping there's enough healing by Friday that she can get a bath!

At this point, it seems like Emme's graft will be okay. She will put weight on her right foot, but the bandage is thick enough with all the gauze that she won't try to stand independently or take steps (though she will walk while holding on to my fingers). We're really happy that this small bump didn't necessitate any hospital time and that Emme seems to be feeling better so quickly.

Hospital charges for one skin graft: $31,993.40. A happy, health baby girl: priceless.

Quoth the Oliver

2011-12-01T20:25:00.001-06:00

Things Oliver has said recently.

Translation required:

Wes and Oliver were getting ready to outside one day, and Wes was helping him put on an extra layer since it was getting cool. Wes came upstairs with Oliver pretty confused and asked if I knew what Oliver's "planet shirt" was. I wracked my brain -- he used to have some planet pajamas, but no planet shirt. Wes said that Oliver kept asking for his "planet shirt." I thought and thought and thought. And then it hit me. Oliver was asking for his flannel shirt.
One morning Ollie and I were sitting at breakfast eating our cereal. Apropos to nothing, Ollie asked me what goes in the sky. He started the list: "Airplanes, helicopters, blinks." Ah, yes. Blimps.
Ollie, Emme, and I were driving somewhere in the car one day -- maybe on our way to school -- when Ollie asks for the umpteenth time what the glove box is. I told him what it was, and then he told me that "chains for the zoo" was in there. Chains for the zoo, chains for the zoo, chains for the zoo? Ah-hah! The change for the zoo -- the tokens that we use to go on the carousel.

Funny:

When we went to Emme's first post-op appointment, Oliver came with us because it was early in the morning and he really wanted to see Emme get her cast off (which, of course, ultimately didn't happen at that appointment). He had been to one or two of Emme's pediatrician's appointment before and on one occasion, saw Emme get some shots and then got a sticker from the check-out nurse for being well behaved. As we were entering the plastic surgeon's office, Oliver said, "Emme will get her cast off, and then I will get an Elmo sticker." Seems fair, right?

Sweet:

On the way to the plastic surgeon's office, we drove past a construction site. It was exciting for Ollie, who got to see several pieces of construction equipment at work. When we passed it again on our way out, I pointed out to Ollie several long tree trunks that had been saved from what had been removed from the site. He asked about the trees, and I explained that they had removed the trees because they were going to build something there. Later that afternoon, on our way home from daycare, he asked if they were going to take out more trees, like the ones near our house. I told him they weren't going to take those trees out -- that we like trees and they're good for us. Ollie suddenly got a very serious look on his face and said, "But if they cut the trees down, where will the birdies go?" Sweet boy.

Anticipation...is keepin' me waitin'

2011-11-29T15:22:00.001-06:00

Wes and I have completed our holiday shopping. Yes, I know, it's November 29. I only very recently lamented how early the Christmas season had arrived in our local shops, and now I'm already done with Christmas shopping. There's several reasons for that. One, it's an outstanding distraction from my final papers. Googling "cool toys for 3-year-old boys" on Amazon is way more interesting than "teacher education for English as a second language" on Google Scholar. Second, I usually shop online and wanted to leave plenty of time for shipping. And third, we do light presents, so there wasn't a lot of shopping to do. The kids are each getting four items plus new pajamas for Christmas eve. I have something in mind for Wes and have it in the works, but the plans are done. Woosh -- holiday shopping done.

But now that the shopping is done and items will be here in the next 7-10 days, I have to decide what to do with the presents. We aren't going to have a full-size Christmas tree this year because Emme is so mobile and not yet discerning about what to touch and leave alone. I also don't think Oliver would leave alone wrapped items that sat unattended for weeks at a time. Wes and I had a conversation last night about whether to put them out, perhaps on our mantel above the Christmas stockings, or leave them put away until Christmas morning. This might make the most sense in the long run since we don't do Santa in our house and so it might be fun to just have things appear on Christmas morning. My biggest concern for this year is that having wrapped gifts out for too long would be a huge tease. But maybe next year.

Just because the kids are too young to really look forward Christmas Day, doesn't mean there's no one waiting in anticipation. I, for one, can't wait for them to see what Wes and I picked out.

Oasis

2011-11-29T15:21:00.001-06:00

Emme, it seems, is a little water bug. She loves the bath -- and has been missing out on it for the last week because of her cast (the little stinker). She is instinctively drawn to the dog's water bowl. Several times in the last few weeks, we have found her splashing happily in it, requiring an outfit change. If she gets away before she gets changed, she leaves a little wet trail behind her on the kitchen floor. Last night, after a splash-around in the water bowl and subsequent outfit change, she followed me into the bathroom where, while I was washing my hands, she stood up at the toilet and proceeded to reach into the bowl after the water.

Maybe she's thirsty?

Look

2011-11-27T09:46:00.001-06:00

It's Oliver with himself from two years ago (here and here).

In parts

2011-11-22T19:52:00.001-06:00

Today is Emme's second surgery for the large nevus on her right foot and leg. It's 8:55 AM now, and she's been back in the operating room for almost an hour. I woke her last night around 2:30 AM to nurse her as late as I could (no breast milk after 3 AM for the anesthesia), then was back up shortly after 5 to pump and get ready. I woke her around 5:45 -- she was not appreciative but came around when I offered her a pacifier. She was generally agreeable for most of the morning. Everyone in the waiting room was watching her crawl around, push the train car I brought for her, cruise along the chairs, and stare at the other kids and their parents. We did lose a shoes somewhere along the way, but after retracing our steps here at the hospital to no avail, I'm hoping it's somewhere between her room and the garage at home.

We were one of the first ones to go back around 6:45; I think they take the infants first thing. She climbed all over the crib in the room, played with her duck, and flirted with every male that came by (I swear -- it really is just with the guys!). She was fairly even tempered until around 7:30 AM, by which time she was clearly getting sleepy and probably wanted to eat. She rocked with me a little and went happily to the nurse anesthetist (who said he had an 18-month-old girl at home and was enjoying a "little baby" in his arms) around 7:45. Caroline Chester, our fantastic plastic surgeon, checked her out shortly before that. She was surprised to see how much Emme had grown since her last appointment in July. She was also pleased to see how much elasticity she had in her calf and decided, if time permitted, to do another staged excision on the ankle in addition to the graft today. Emme will end up with donor site on her abdomen, plus the excision and graft on her ankle under a cast -- a lot of healing, but hopefully not too much limitation to her movement.

Note the purple X on her leg to mark
what limb is being worked on.
Dr. Chester said they make her do it,
though we agreed that in this case it
seem unnecessary!

I am in the waiting room for the duration. Wes, who is on Ollie duty today before and some time in the ER enrolling patients for his studies, will come over once we hear that Caroline in on her way out. I will update this post when I hear anything, but if last time is any indication, I'll (hopefully) just hear that things are progressing.

10:24 AM: Karen, a nurse from the operating room, called to say that Emme is doing fine. Dr. Chester is working on getting the graft onto her foot. She anticipates probably another hour, at least. Will either be called back or get another update by then.

12:47 PM: And home. More updates later, but generally all went well. Right now, I'm going to hold a pretty pathetic baby.

8:58 PM: Emme's been pretty sad this afternoon. She has a huge incision on her abdomen from hipbone to hipbone, and we don't even know what things look like under her huge cast (on for ten days). Dr. Chester decided not to do the excision on the top of the nevus because she worried it would be too much at once. Emme has been very still for the most part this afternoon. She cries these sad, half-hearted little bleats, then falls asleep for a few minutes if I rock her, then bleats again. I got her to sleep a little in her swing (which we kept out past its regular use for this very reason), and we put her down for the night around 6 PM. She's cried a little -- always the sad, tired, moaning cry, nothing serious -- but has mostly slept since then. If she can make it through most of a normal night, I think we can get her back on her schedule tomorrow. She had very little baby food today, so I think she's going to be really hungry tomorrow. She also hasn't nursed a whole lot. I gave her small bottle of water when we had dinner just to see if she was interested, and she did drink an ounce or so. Wes and I are both worn out from poor nights of sleep last night, a generally irregular schedule for him the last few nights, and a cold and cough for me. I'm not sure what tonight will bring, but we do have four days off all together. And Oliver has just been fantastic this afternoon. He is clearly very concerned about Emme's well-being and wants to know why she's so sad. He also really wants to see her boo-boo. He brought her pacifiers and toys throughout the afternoon and looked through a magazine to find "slippers and jammies" for her. He's definitely been a good big brother. Wes did manage to get a faint smile out of her at dinner, and Aunt Margaret and Uncle Ben sent flowers (with a teddy and 3 Musketeers bar!), which I'm sure cheered her up.

Baby is crying; here's hoping she has an okay night.

(Last night, with the surgery finally imminent, I spent some time reading about skin grafts and treatment options for congenital nevi. I sometimes feel like we're going through all this for no reason, but then I remember the high risk these large/giant nevi carry for melanoma, especially before age 3, and I figure the relatively mild inconvenience and discomfort caused by these surgeries is certainly worth it to, hopefully, avoid skin cancer in the future. For more information on congenital nevi, including the risk factors for large or giant nevi, go here. Note that Emme's large nevus has a 1:500,000 occurrence in infants. Add that to the incidence of aplasia cutis congenita, with 500 reported cases since 1767, and maybe she should play the jackpot.)

It's 8:00 AM. Do you know where your children are?

2011-11-18T08:33:00.001-06:00

My daughter -- she's asleep. Not still asleep, mind you. But down for a nap. Oliver was up at 5:45 (that's what I get for an early bedtime, I suppose), and Emme woke up or was awoken shortly thereafter. She got very fussy around 7:45, as she often does just before we're getting ready to go to school (normally around 8:30). I guessed she was tired and put her in her crib while I took a shower. And now -- sleeping soundly.

Oliver -- he's everywhere.

Bed bugs

2011-11-14T10:30:00.001-06:00

Ten months old

2011-11-13T18:48:00.001-06:00

Sleeping through the night

2011-11-07T12:43:00.001-06:00

I am very happy to say that for several weeks now, Emme has been sleeping through the night. More importantly, for the last several weeks, I have been sleeping through the night. Now lots of baby sleep books say that a baby is officially "sleeping through the night" when they go six hours or more at a stretch. Emme was doing that by probably 12 or 16 weeks. When I mentioned to a classmate recently that Emme was finally sleeping through, my professor said, "Oh, our kids all did that really early. My wife would just bring them to bed and nurse them there." That, my friends, is a man talking. A man who does not understand that waking to nurse a baby, even one in bed with you, is not consecutive sleep. And I, for one, never slept well when the baby was actually in bed with me. So to me, "sleeping through the night" means that baby goes down to bed at night and doesn't wake up (or wake me up) until it's time to get up in the morning. For both my kids, that's meant 12-hour night. Down at 7pm, up at 7am, or thereabouts. And it's happened for both around 9 or 10 months. Not as early as I'd like, but I made it with both of them. And I do mean me. Wes helps a little as he's able, but he'll readily admit that 99% or more of the times that a kid got up, I was the one to get up with them -- to nurse, to rock, to soothe, or whatever. I don't think I could ever do the hard core sleep training, so it's a gift to me that they both finished night waking around the time that I was really read to be done, too.

Emme has been occasionally sleeping through the night for a few months, but sometimes she would get up much more often -- especially when sick or teething. A few weeks ago, I made an effort to let her fuss a little longer when she woke up, and she made the turn and the full night became a consistent thing. I would go up if she woke up screaming loudly -- something that came with her two bottom teeth -- or if she was still crying after several minutes, especially if it was escalating. But usually he night cries were almost half-hearted. Like maybe she wasn't even totally awake. So I let her go, and she's learned to either find her pacifier (which she only uses when sleeping) or go back to sleep. She slept through a few nights before our trip to Chicago and then did it for two of the three nights my mom was here with her. I cannot tell you how much better rested I feel. How I can stay up a little later at night to work because I know I'll get at least eight hours in a row.

I have been relatively lucky where sleep is concerned. I've done better with the lack of sleep than I thought I would when first pregnant, and that seems to be something that varies by chidl. The kids would be up every 3-4 hours, but it was extremely rare that I was up for any reason other than to nurse, and they were usually back down within 10 minutes. I did go through a period when I rifled at people who said to me, "Well, if she only gets up once at night, that's not bad." I mean seriously -- who gets up every single night in the middle of the night and thinks, "Well, that's not bad"? No one. It's not fun. Especially after a fairly restless third trimester. That's like a full year of inconsistent sleep. Without any real naps.

I'll gladly do it again when the time comes. Much as I like my sleep (especially in my recently redecorated bedroom -- pictures soon to come on the other blog), I don't mind sharing little bits of that time to snuggle with warm, cuddly bodies who immediately calm down when momma picks them up.

In the mean time, though, I'll be in bed.

Jammin'

2011-11-01T20:16:00.002-05:00

Oliver on the wall

2011-11-01T19:47:00.002-05:00

More from family photo day

2011-10-30T12:37:00.004-05:00

A little bit of Emmeline in my life

2011-10-30T12:29:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure if the boogers came before
or after the tissues.

"So this button gets me Sports Center..." (Note: remote upside down.)

Per Aunt Laura's request

2011-10-30T12:23:00.002-05:00

Oliver does Chicago

2011-10-28T20:43:00.002-05:00

Last Sunday, Wes and I took Oliver to Chicago. We talked this summer about taking a true family vacation with just the four of us, but with other traveling there wasn't really time. We also realized that a trip to any town would be a little hard with Emme still being so young, and she wouldn't really get much out of it. Then Wes found out that he had two trips to Chicago in October, and we decided to make one of them a trip for the three of us. We would get to have the experience of a family trip with Oliver, who is old enough to enjoy parts of it, and we could wait until next summer, when Emme will be older and walking, to try something with all four of us out of town.

We talked the trip up a lot before going. We explained to Oliver all the of the travel that would be involved, people and things we would see, and where Emme would be while we were away (at home,with my mom, who came into town to stay with her -- a treat, I take it, for both us and her). He talked about the trip beforehand, explaining to me what would happen at the airport and why Emme couldn't go ("it's too cold for her").

Sunday morning we got up very early. We had an 8:00 flight to give us a full day to spend together. Wes's conference was scheduled for Monday and Tuesday, so we wanted one day that he could share with us. Emme and Oliver actually woke up very early anyway, and the three of us had said our goodbyes and were out the door to the airport at 6:30. Oliver had his camouflage (or "camo-garage" as he pronounces it) book bag that his Aunt Laura gave him and was proudly carrying it on his back. I packed it with some books, our iPod Touch, and Cookie Monster, who did get out once on the plane to ride with Ollie. The flight to Chicago was relatively easy. Ollie only got antsy towards the end of what is a blessedly short flight. The weather was beautiful essentially the whole time we were there, and we didn't even get the rain they'd forecast.

After taking a ride on the Orange Line from Midway to Washington/Wells, we dropped out luggage at our hotel in the loop and took off to get Oliver somewhere he could run around. We went to Millennium Part first to see the "bean" (officially known as Cloud Gate) and check out the new walkway from the park to the Art Institute. We then took the bus north on Michigan Avenue to have lunch at Potbelly's. We went into 900 N. Michigan, a kind of mall setup, to eat. This was right down the street, about two blocks, from our first apartment in Chicago. The maternity shop where I bought my first maternity shirt and the baby store where we shopped for strollers is located next Potbelly's in this mall, and it definitely brought back memories to be there with the real-life child that resulted from that pregnancy, watching other expectant moms and dads looking around.

After lunch, we took Ollie to Lincoln Park Zoo. We saw a seal and penguins and a tiger, plus gorillas and chimpanzees, all things we don't have at our local zoo. We visited a playground next to the park before going back south onto Michigan Avenue. We took Ollie next to Water Tower Place to see the "jumping water" next to the escalators, to the Lego store, and to the food court, where we shared a drink. We found some more playgrounds around the mall and near the hospital, which Wes wanted to check out. We saw the new Children's Memorial, now adjacent to Prentice Women's, where I delivered Oliver, and the demolition on the building where Wes's chief's office used to be. We wandered around downtown for a bit longer until it was time to meet a friend for dinner at Bandera. We had considered a more child-oriented restaurant like Rain Forest Cafe, but ultimately found that Bandera, a place we'd liked when we were there, is pretty kid-friendly but more palatable for adults. Ollie did well all through dinner, which was surprising considering how tired he already was.

Sleep that night was slow in coming. We were all in a very small room, with Oliver on a roll-away. He wouldn't settle down to sleep until we went to bed, though, which wasn't until probably 10pm. Wes was up before 7am the next morning for his conference, which meant Oliver and I were, too. After breakfast at Corner Bakery, Ollie and I spent the morning at Navy Pier -- in the Children's Museum, on the ferris wheel and carousel, and along the lakefront. We got lunch at Au Bon Pain before spending maybe two hours in the hotel room. I was hoping he might nap, but regardless I had a paper to finish and submit before we could go back out. In the afternoon, we took the Brown Line to Diversity to see some other friends from residency who are also now parents to two. We took the boys to a playground. Oliver was basically asleep by the time we got to our stop, but managed to make it through dinner back downtown at Cosi (and a hot fudge sundae at McDonalds!). I put him in bed with me pretty early, which turned out to be a good thing since Wes was tied up at the conference until late. He slept soundly, even when moved onto his own bed, even when Wes got up the next morning.

On Tuesday, after a very quick donut and orange juice (spill...) at Dunkin Donuts, we made our way far south on the Red Line to the Museum of Science and Industry, where we met Oliver's former babysitter, her son, and her new babysitting charges for about an hour and a half. It was fun for us to see the other's boy "all grown up," and Ollie loved the museum. They had to head back kind of early, but we stayed a little longer to let Oliver watch the baby chicks hatch and thoroughly check out the planes and trains. We returned north the same way we came, through Hyde Park and onto the Red Line, then did lunch at Corner Bakery before venturing out for some Chicago paraphernalia. After trying Macy's and another gift shop, we found the Chicago Sports & Novelty shop on N. Michigan Avenue, just south of the river, and got t-shirts for me, Ollie, and even Emme. (I have to say, both kids look good in Cubs cobalt blue.) We made our way back to the hotel, passing some teenage boys drumming on buckets (high interest for a preschooler), and got there just before Wes.

Our trip back to the airport was relatively uneventful, though Oliver fell asleep on the El ride. Unfortunately, our flight was delayed and Oliver was exhausted. After we ate, I walked around the airport with him, walking on the moving walkways and looking in the kids' gift shop, until we could board. Wes and I were shocked he didn't fall asleep on the plane -- and in fact waited until just about two minutes before we arrived home in the car to do so. He's slept long and well the nights since we got back.

So here are the few things I learned from our big trip to the big city:
1. The most exciting part of a trip for a 3-year-old is not the destination or the sightseeing, it's the modes of transportation. Oliver has told everyone who knows that we traveled about his airplane ride and the pilot. He loved the train. He kept telling me that Thomas was pulling the train, and when the recordings played to announce the stops, he said it was Thomas talking to us. He thought the announcements themselves -- Doors open on the left -- to be completely hilarious and would mimic them. About the bus, he commented, "The bus is always stopping." (On the plus side, the new bus tracker system with smartphone app is genius for telling a preschooler how long they'll have to wait for the bus.)
2. The combination of an already slow-paced 3-year-old with that of a tourist in a big city results in a deathly slow pace. It was truly unbelievable how slow we walked. Add to that his state of exhaustion by the end of the trip, and he actually let me carry him to the Brown Line. I think Wes is secretly glad he missed the last 48 hours -- I don't think he would have stayed sane with Oliver's slow pace.
3. Trips like these really show the character of your kids, and I was reminded on this one -- all alone (most of the time) with Oliver -- just how good he is. He fusses, he says no, he sometimes acts out -- but all in all, he's a trooper. He walked a loong way in the city. He did things that were new and sometimes scary without complaint. He ate -- well -- in adult restaurants and was polite and behaved himself. It's nice in the midst of some growing pains to be reminded just how good your kids really can be.

Wes and I will not miss Chicago for long. He goes back next Tuesday (just to O'Hare) for another conference meeting, and then I head up Wednesday night until Saturday, though flying solo this time. I will relish the opportunity to walk at a slightly more reasonable rate there all by myself, but I won't be able to get on the plane, train, or bus without smiling at the thought of Oliver on them.

We are family

2011-10-28T20:06:00.000-05:00

Walker-ing

2011-10-26T20:37:00.003-05:00

Emme is now even more mobile. Tonight I watched her, for the first time, walk across the living room with the toy walker we bought when Oliver was 13 months (and still not walking independently!). She isn't fast, and it'll still be weeks before she's a true toddler, but she does a great job getting her feet going and pushing the walker on her own.

Oliver tractor

2011-10-18T20:25:00.000-05:00

My parents revealed during their recent visit that there is actually an Oliver Tractor brand (but of course...). Ollie is now the very proud owner of two Oliver Tractor t-shirts (and three, three, tractor shirts total) and one mug with his (the company's) name on it. The unexpected upshot: these shirts are supposed to be 3/4 sleeves but currently fit him as long-sleeved with lots of room in the body and torso. If I can keep them from getting destroyed from overuse, he'll be wearing them for well over a year!

Beautiful baby

2011-10-18T20:20:00.001-05:00

Double wide

2011-10-18T20:17:00.003-05:00

Honeysuckle Hills Farm

2011-10-18T20:11:00.003-05:00

On Saturday, Wes and I took the kids to Honeysuckle Hill Farm. This is one of the many farm/pumpkin patch places that pop up around here in the fall so that we city folk can go out to the country for a bit, spend some of our money, pet animals, and climb on tires. Oliver and I went to a similar one last year. I saw the advertisement for Honeysuckle Hill this year, though, and just couldn't resist. A sand pit? Bunnyville? A tractor tire playground? They had me at "Hillbilly Pig Races." I knew how busy Walden Farm got last year, so we made sure to be there right at 10AM when they opened. Oliver made a bee line for the sand pit while Emme and I checked out the animals -- three little pigs, some chickens, several goats (with two babies who could climb through the gate to see the visitors up close). Emme loved me standing her up next to the gates, where the friendlier animals would come and nudge her hand, looking for food. The goats had clearly learned where the feed came from, and the little white goat was happy to help Oliver get it out. We went on a hay ride, Oliver tried to ride the small-tractors-turned-tricycles (himself), and I Em explored the pumpkin patch full of pumpkins just her size. We went back to the animals at the end for the pig races, by which time the baby goats were napping from all the excitement. Our own babies were just as worn out, and Em, at least, fell asleep on the way home. We definitely enjoyed the beautiful weather and will look forward to another trip out next fall.

Two little monkeys jumping on the bed...

2011-10-18T19:31:00.001-05:00

When we put Emme in her pajamas first, Oliver thought for sure
she had taken the jammies he'd seen in his drawer.

When he realized they had matching pajamas, he was completely
amazed. He spent the rest of the evening trying to sit right next
to her so he could show her that they were matching.

I am not bald.

2011-10-18T19:27:00.003-05:00

The preschool perpective

2011-10-18T19:24:00.000-05:00

Oliver got the camera again on a recent visit from my parents. He and Grandma N. made a big tower using all of the loose Legos, and then Oliver would tear it down and ask my mom to make it again. They were only here for a short time, but we had enough time to get in a trip to the duck pond (Centennial Park), a walk in the neighborhood with a stop at the nearby park (Sevier Park), plus breakfast at the Cracker Barrel (fussy baby = epic fail) and a long trip to the zoo. No wonder we all went down for a nap the minute they left to drive home!

French kiss

2011-10-18T19:02:00.001-05:00

Sharing a joke

2011-10-18T19:01:00.002-05:00

"Two rodents walk into a bar..."

Nine months old

2011-10-13T18:57:00.000-05:00

The rodent

And I think it's gonna rain today

2011-10-12T21:15:00.002-05:00

It didn't, but he really liked getting
to wear his rain jacket and carry
his umbrella to school!

Vaccinated

2011-10-12T21:08:00.003-05:00

Ollie and Emme had a pediatrician's appointment today. This was Oliver's 3-year well-child visit and Emme's 9-month well-child visit, but it just so happened that both have had recent health complications. Oliver had a red, swollen...boy part last week. It has since gone away, though Oliver mentioned several times last week that it was "still bothering him." Wes and I figured he had just picked up the language we had used to ask him if it was, in fact, still bothering him, as there were no symptoms to suggest that anything was still wrong. But, since he is uncircumcised, we wanted to make sure there were no issues (there weren't). Emme has been sick for almost a week -- a higher fever that kept her out of daycare last week, followed by a low-grade fever and horrible nights of sleep since Saturday. So here's what we found out:

Oliver can pee in a specimen cup if necessary. He thought is was hilarious.
Ollie is 35 lbs., 4 oz. (80th %tile) and 39" (85th %tile). The pediatrician thinks he'll be about 6 feet tall.
Emme is 17 lbs., 5 oz. (25th %tile -- my little girl!) and 27 5/8" (60th %tile). Her head circumference is 17 1/8" (up to the 40th %tile -- whew!).
Oliver's right ear tube has dislodged and -- shock! -- he has a nasty ear infection in it (with nary a symptom of one). The doctor pulled a glob of black, nasty earwax out before diagnosing him.
Emme's left ear is infected. I'm hoping this is an explanation for the persistent low fever and night wakings. Hoping...hoping. Both kids are on amoxicillin.
Kids don't like shots. Oliver got his flu vaccine and a PCV booster. The last time he got a shot, probably around 18 months, he didn't even cry, so I thought he'd be okay. Wrong. Cried and cried. And even more when the nurse realized that the doctor had forgotten to tell her about the PCV booster, which meant Ollie had two separate shots and freak-outs rather than two quick shots in one freak-out. He calmed down when I mentioned the stickers by the sign-out desk. He said later -- several times -- "Mom, I don't like shots." Emme, suffice it to say, also did not enjoy her flu vaccine. Since she didn't get one last year, she'll get a booster in one month. Lucky her.

So overall, smart, (mostly) healthy, happy children.

Wes and I also happen to have gotten our flu vaccine's today. VUMC had "Flulapalooza," during which time, they vaccinated more than 12,000 Vanderbilt faculty, staff, and students and set a world record for most vaccinations given in an 8-hour period. I felt a little like a cow being herded, but it was fast, free, and relatively painless. Here's hoping the vaccines keep us flu-free all winter!

Thank you, Grandma!

2011-10-10T11:29:00.000-05:00

Hot child in the city

2011-10-07T16:04:00.002-05:00

Still running a fever, but not
so bad she couldn't go shopping :)

Arach-nophobia

2011-10-07T16:03:00.001-05:00

A hot little number

2011-10-06T20:33:00.000-05:00

Emme and I got to spend the day together, unfortunately because she is sick and running a fever. The daycare called me yesterday when I was already on my way to pick up; Emme had a fever and was fussy and uncomfortable. She slept well last night and napped more than usual today. I've only given her two doses of medication today when she seemed inconsolable, but she's pretty much running a fever otherwise. I don't take her temperature as it's pretty easy to tell whether she's normal, a little warm, or really hot, and without other symptoms, even the level of really hot doesn't make me too worried. I'm on fall break, which means I don't have classes or meetings today like I normally would. The flip side is that I'd planned to spend the day getting ahead on work and instead spent the day basically holding and rocking the baby. Not a bad way to spend the day, I think, but still. She's staying home again tomorrow, and I'm hoping she'll feel enough better to sneak out for a few errands. Really important things, like checking out the new Nordstrom's.

Everybody's swingin'

2011-10-05T08:52:00.001-05:00

Zebra, sheep, and pig

2011-10-05T08:45:00.002-05:00

A pretty crappy day

2011-10-04T20:26:00.001-05:00

Once upon a weekend

2011-10-04T20:13:00.001-05:00

Breakfast at IHOP.
The Cracker Barrel was too long of a wait :(

Helping at Lowe's.

Emme carrying the basketball to the park.
(She's really worried about this year's
NBA season being cancelled.)

So happy -- and pink!

On the Shelby Avenue Pedestrian Bridge

(Note: I did not approve the sock/shoes combo.)

Bundled for the cool weather.

Vintage Gymboree goldfish and very small Chucks

2011-10-04T10:21:00.001-05:00

E-Mm-e

2011-10-03T09:18:00.001-05:00

Community service

2011-09-26T20:15:00.001-05:00

This Saturday, Oliver came with me to a local middle and high school for Hands on Nashville Day. This is a city-wide day of service, wherein groups of community members -- often coworkers, churches, or school groups like ours -- go out to the schools to do painting and landscaping. I did it last year with my students in the LDUS master's program I teach with as part of my graduate work. I was pregnant with Emme at the time and actually had to get a babysitter for Ollie since Wes was working. An hour or so into the morning, though, lots of neighborhood families (we were at an elementary school last year) showed up with young kids who helped spread mulch, too. So I decided to take him along this year in the hopes that there would once again be a big pile of dirt.

And indeed there was. Ollie and I got there at 7:45am. After a brief tour of litter duty, we took his bucket and shovel to the big pile of dirt and then carried buckets of mulch to various trees and shrubs that were being pruned and weeded. I think we walked back and forth with buckets of mulch for about two hours, with brief breaks for water, snacks, and some picture taking (by Oliver).

I know Oliver to young understand what community service is, but he did get the idea that we were helping. He amused any number of other volunteers there with his John Deere hat and bucket and shovel. He liked to stand on the very top of the pile of mulch and shovel and reshovel before putting it in the bucket.

He was very tired, wet (shoes, socks, and cuffs from the dew on the grass), and a little crabby by the time we left, but it was fun to take him with me. Hopefully it's instilling some kind of habit that he will continue through adulthood.

(More than) eight months old

2011-09-26T20:00:00.002-05:00

Vintage Gymboree onesie, circa Winter 2004

Tooth

2011-09-22T15:51:00.001-05:00

Emme is finally getting her first tooth, it seems. I can just see the very top of her bottom left tooth poking through her gum. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the cause of her recent 11pm scream feats. I tried prophylactic Tylenol last night to no avail. Hopefully the tooth (or teeth!) will soon be here and the screaming gone.

Standing

2011-09-18T15:41:00.002-05:00

Emme is pulling herself up to standing now. She'll crawl to me, take my fingers and stand up. Of course, then she'll let go because she wants to stand up all by herself. But she can't, so she just plunks back down. She's also learned how to pull herself up on the furniture, like the couch or the ottomans in the living room. She's not really cruising yet, but she does love to stand. Oliver thinks it's an amazing development (I'm sure Cookie will reach this milestone soon, too), and he wants to hold on to her while she stands up. Not such a good idea, but I appreciate the desire.

So Emme continues to develop quickly, a little ahead of what Oliver did. Her pincer grip is still lacking. She tends to hold food in her fist instead of her fingers, which makes it hard to get it in her mouth. This, I am sure, Oliver mastered very quickly. She also still has no teeth and no sign of any coming in soon. I have to assume it will eventually happen, but it's still strange to see such a gummy grin on a standing baby!

Strolling

2011-09-18T15:36:00.001-05:00

Dirt and dirtier

2011-09-18T15:34:00.000-05:00

Oliver got a belated birthday present yesterday. (Actually, he got it today, when we went to Target to get the Leapfrog Tag system and a few books for it, but I think yesterday was probably more exciting in the short run.) We had a walkway put in our backyard from the patio to the steps that lead into the garage. The yard is wonderful, and I would have preferred on an aesthetic level to not do anything at all, but the ice, snow, and rain in the past two years have been hard on the grass, our shoes, and the kitchen floors. So Wes and I plunked down the money to put in the walkway and have the patio extended over a garden area that, well, had never been well tended. The walkway starts level with the back patio but raises slightly so it's above the grass line. Wes thought it would be better if the grass sloped up to meet the top of the walkway, and so yesterday was dedicated to adding dirt, seed, and straw to the sides in the hopes of getting said grass to grow.

So in the morning, after a hearty breakfast at Dunkin Donuts (umm, yeah), we headed out to a nursery about 20 minutes away where they have, yup, a bunch of piles of dirt. They have regular dirt, mulch, bark, and something called "Holy Cow Garden Mix." I think Oliver thought it was his wildest dream come true. Not only did we pass probably 50 tractors getting there, but he was permitted to touch and help shovel the dirt. The guy at the register, who Wes described using a rather pejorative southern slang term, thought we were nuts to have showed up at this place without a pickup truck. They actually sell the dirt by the pickup truck. Wes paid for a half load (as low as the register would go, according to said guy, and off we went. Wes commented later, probably accurately, that my paternal grandfather, a lifetime farmer, would probably lose his mind if he heard that we not only paid for dirt but also shoveled it ourselves. We got the dirt home, and after forcing Ollie to come inside and eat lunch, he and Wes spent the afternoon moving the dirt from the back of the car into the yard. They eventually went back for a second half load, which Wes said was so heavy it actually made it difficult for the car to steer correctly (something about the front half of the car not quite sitting on the road...).

After more shoveling, and some seeding, and the arrival of Grandma Kay, Wes, Ollie, and Grandma went to Home Depot for straw. The thing is, they were out of straw. But the guy in charge of straw (who I can only assume bore some striking similarity to the guy at the dirt place) said they could have whatever they could sweep out of the semi that brought the straw in. So the three of them spent at least 20 minutes, to Oliver's great delight, sweeping out the inside of a huge truck. They brought it home in four huge paper bags, and Oliver literally climbed inside to get the last of it out.

Suffice it to say that my guys finished the day dirty, sweaty, and completely worn out. But at least for Ollie, it was a great, great day. And me -- I got my car cleaned out!

Oliver, photographer extraordinaire

2011-09-18T15:18:00.002-05:00

Having a daddy moment

2011-09-14T19:43:00.003-05:00

Wes and Oliver have spent the last thirty minutes sitting in front of the computer watching old cartoons. Wes says he remembers them from when he was a kid.

The big 0-3!

2011-09-12T20:19:00.000-05:00

Cupcakes with Grandma Kay --
and Aunt Laura via Skye on the iPhone!

Mmm...icing.

Wearing his "3" shirt.

Getting his annual measurement.

Grew 3 3/4" since last year!

The birthday boy

2011-09-12T20:13:00.000-05:00

From this...

to this.

The year of why

2011-09-11T11:21:00.004-05:00

Oliver's third year of life, as a two-year-old, was the year of what. "What is that?" "What are you doing, mommy?" (over and over again). Or in response to a question that he didn't know the answer to, simply "What?"

Yesterday, for the very first time, when I told Oliver to do something (you know, something really crazy like wash his hands after peeing), he responded, "Why?" as he did to several other directives over the course of the day. It seems that his next year of life, as a three-year-old, will be the year of why. And yes, I've already said, at least once, "Because I said so." Which of course wasn't the real reason why, but sometimes explaining the real reason why just takes too long. Or is too complicated to explain. Wes attempted to give a real answer to a "Why? yesterday, perhaps the hand washing "Why?", and inevitably it turned into an explanation of bacteria and gastrointestinal parasites and I don't even know what. It's fair to assume that if I didn't understand the answer, Oliver didn't either. But he did eventually wash his hands, so I might have to brush up on my "how the world works" talks in order to survive Oliver at three.

Goosed

2011-09-10T22:33:00.000-05:00

Bugged out

2011-09-10T22:01:00.002-05:00

Everyone finally seems to be bug free at our house. Wes got the bug late Monday night, and he and I spent most of Tuesday home on the couch while the kids were at daycare. When I went to pick them up early that afternoon, I learned that Emme had been tired and fussy all day, just not herself, and had recently spit up and was running a low fever. By the time we got her home she was burning up, and after some Tylenol, she slept 4:30-8, and then 9pm-6am. She stayed home from daycare Wednesday and Thursday, with the help of a babysitter on Wednesday and Grandma Kay on Thursday afternoon, so that I could go to class and teach class, respectively. She had a persistent fever on Wednesday, helped only with Tylenol, and refused any baby food. On Thursday, the fever was gone, but she was still clearly uncomfortable and only started to take a little baby food in the afternoon. She was pretty sad the whole time. If I put her down, she either cried to be picked up or just sat on the floor looking around, zapped of any energy to crawl. She snuggled happily and pretty much wanted to be with me all day -- clearly a sign she wasn't feeling well! I wasn't sure if I would send her Friday, but after it took me five minutes to get her diapered and dressed in the morning (owing to the fact that she wouldn't lie still) and she did a lot of smiling and cooing, I decided to send her on so that I could finally get some schoolwork done. She made it through the day fine, though she was clearly worn out afterwards. She has had several nasty poops since then -- not clear if they are simply a return to breast milk poop since she refused baby food for so long or a sign that the bug is still there a little bit. She also has a pretty nasty rash all over, though the worst on her diaper area, but Wes says it's just an after effect of the fever. I'm hoping it clears up in the next day as it looks kind of uncomfortable.

We have done lots of laundry this week. I've also made sure that all the hand soap in the bathrooms is antibacterial. I still need to Clorox doorknobs and wipe down some toys, but otherwise, we've hopefully staved off a return of this thing. With the temperatures being up and down like they have in the last week, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before someone is sick with a respiratory infection or some such thing, but I'm hoping we can all get a little rest and relaxation before that happens.

Bugged

2011-09-05T09:19:00.002-05:00

It seems we have a bug in our house. A small one, I think, but definitely moving around. Two of the babies in Emme's room at daycare on Friday had multiple runny diapers. Then on Saturday, Oliver had several very large, very runny stools, followed by a long nap (almost always a sign that he is not feeling well). He seemed somewhat better yesterday (though he napped again), and his appetite and energy never diminished significantly like it has in the past with more serious illnesses. Emme has thus far been spared this bug, for which I am especially thankful. Unfortunately, though, I have not been spared the bug myself. I woke up this morning with a queasy stomach and all that goes with that, and have just in the past half hour been visited but the ghost of breakfast past. Wes is at home with the kids today because I have class all afternoon. I am reluctant to miss at all as I am scheduled to be out in late October for a trip. The down side is I'm spending a cool, rainy Labor Day away from my family, sitting in a very chilly office on campus trying to do some reading while feeling horribly. The up side is I'm not trying to take care of my two very mobile children while feeling horribly. I guess I'll take it.

The rodent

2011-09-03T21:27:00.001-05:00

Everywhere I go shopping for clothes for Emme, I see little pink onesies, often with rhinestones, that proclaim, "Daddy's little princess." So it kind of surprised me when Wes landed on his most recent nickname for Emme -- the rodent. Oliver has also now picked it up. I'm not sure he realizes that it's being used to refer to Emme or if he even knows what a rodent is. But he thinks it's funny nonetheless. I do not. My usual nickname for her is "Sweety Pea."

I mean, I do kind of see where he's coming from. Emme's scampering little crawl and the fact that she gets around like crazy are a little rodent-esque. She is constantly underfoot these days, especially since she's started trying to pull herself up on my legs when she wants me (adorable, unless you're trying to put groceries away -- or, as was the case this morning, use the bathroom). She's starting to get into things. Today we had to take my power cord away from her lest she pull the whole laptop on her head. I guess we might be Oliver-proofed but are not really baby proofed in some spots.

Wes insists that this nickname is meant as a compliment. Rodents are survivors, he claims, especially the ones that periodically visit our home and manage to avoid the traps we put down for them (the poison, it seems, is another story). I just don't know, though, that Emme is going to look back as a young woman (by which time Wes will hopefully have thought of another nickname -- Emme-Em is the usual referent) and think to herself -- My dad sure must have loved me when I was a baby, comparing me to vermin and all.

Would make for an interesting onesie, though. Even with rhinestones.

Immobilized

2011-09-03T21:18:00.001-05:00

Tonight before bedtime, I took Emme's mobile off her crib. Even after moving the mattress down to the next level, she can still reach the animals on it. She gets on her knees, then reaches up with one hand for the top of the side of the crib and uses her free hand to grab the animals and drag then down in her dominion. I'm basically worried she's going to break the thing. So off it came.

The changing station (which affixes to the top of the crib) is probably next. Not only is she likely to bang her head against it at some point, but she -- more importantly, won't stay on the thing. She is so active that she won't lie on her back unless I dangle something above her while I change her diaper. It's like trying to rope a calf or something. When I lay her down to take off her diaper or get her dressed after a bath, it takes her about ten seconds to flip over and take off for the closest toy. Usually there are multiple starts and stops -- to get the diaper off or put the diaper cream on, to get the new diaper on, another round for putting a onesie over head. And then I usually snap it from behind while she crawls away.

All this developing new skills and storing away of newborn baby things would normally have me wondering about the next kid. But Oliver was enough of a nuisance today to remind me that sweet, adorable little babies eventually become ornery toddlers who -- when not charming me -- make me want to pull my hair out. So I'll enjoy the sitting/crawling/general adorableness of Emme's current phase without thinking about who might enjoy the mobile next.

She crawls

2011-08-21T19:26:00.000-05:00

I got out of the shower and found this

2011-08-21T19:16:00.000-05:00

He said it

2011-08-21T15:10:00.001-05:00

Oliver was helping me clean out the cooler from a party we had last night. I was taking the beer bottles and sodas out so that I could empty out the melted water. As Oliver took the bottles out, he said several times, "I can't drink beer." (I'm not sure if someone told him this or he figured it out on his own. He also notes, from time to time, the the can't drive yet -- because his feet don't reach the pedals.) And then, making a thoughtful connection, he said, "I don't drink beer, so I don't have a beard. But daddy does."

What's happening?

2011-08-13T22:15:00.002-05:00

Both the kids seem to have developed new skills and habits recently. Emme is, of course, crawling really well and now sitting fairly well. She can't get from sitting to crawling without falling, but she doesn't even seem to mind that (she's definitely tougher now than she used to be!). She likes to be able to get around. She has gone after the dog several times and once corned her against the couch, where she touched Lucy's paws and ears until Lucy licked her soundly (in the literal, not figurative, sense) and then got up and left. She goes after all of Oliver's toys. She doesn't mind her baby toys and will play with them when no other options are available, but she'd much rather have Oliver's Legos and trucks or even his puzzle pieces when left on the floor. We talked her out of a library book by giving her a board book to chew on. She still likes the Exersaucer and just within the last few days seems to have figured out that she can turn herself in it. She can press the buttons to make sounds or play songs on it, and I think she likes standing up to see what's going on. She still loves the swing but often prefers to sit beside me with a little support rather than on my lap. She loves strings and ties of all kinds -- shoelaces, the ties on the green blankets, the ones on my cargo shorts. And she's fascinated by my wedding ring. Often when I'm trying to show her a toy or walk my fingers up to her belly or nose, she sees the sparkle and reaches out to touch it and just stares at it with such focus. She babbles a lot and even says "mama" (though not with any intent or direction). I often repeat it back to her, and she sometimes seems surprised that I repeated what she said.

The last two developments have just been in the last few days. The first is her "clucking." I noticed that she kind of smacks her tongue to make a clucking noise, and so I did it back to her, clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth. She thought it was wonderful -- just looked into my face with this expression of wonder and excitement and did it back. And we sat there for several minutes clicking and clucking back and forth. She keeps doing it. It's like she's discovered some secret language that only she and I speak. I love it. The second just started yesterday when her Grandma Kay noticed that she clapped her hands yesterday. I didn't see it clearly, but today she did it several times. She's always been busy with her hands -- waving them up and down, banging them against her bulky diaper, smacking them against my hands, and now kind of wiggling them around while she's being fed. I'm not sure if this is a continuation of that or if she's seen the teachers or Oliver clapping and picked it up. It's definitely funny to see, though, like she's clapping to music or something.

Oliver has also hit a clearly new phase. One is fun; one is not. As for the fun, Oliver has learned how to "play pretend." Obviously he's been pretending on a certain level for as long as he's been playing with toys. The white stuffed bear on his bed doesn't really roar; it's just pretend. The difference is that there actually is a white stuffed bear on his bed. The pretending he's doing now is very abstract, non-tactile. He pretends he's an animal and makes the sounds or moves like them. He recently started moving around the cushions on the couch to make a "jump slide" or a "water trayer" (sp?) (Wes and I have absolutely no idea what this is. When Wes asked Oliver was a water trayer is, Oliver just said it's what's on the couch and could not be dissuaded from this circular argument.) I sit with him on the water trayer -- he gets the middle cushion when the steering wheel, that moves forward to back like a bicycle wheel rather than left and right like a car steering wheel, is. One day he told me we were eating cupcakes, chocolate ones with sprinkles. When I started "eating" mine, he told me we had to take the paper off first. This morning, he moved around the chairs from the table in Emme's room to make a truck. It was yellow ("lello") with a yellow steering wheel. He had to unbutton the real button on his shorts so he could get out the imaginary keys inside them. I sat in the back seat for awhile, then explained to him that Emme and I (who were playing on the gymnastic mat) were in the trailer hitched to the truck, which was a perfectly acceptable explanation for him. He turned on some songs in the car, told me when we were at a stoplight. We drove to Grandma and Grandpa's house, went to the pipe pool (I had to convince him that we didn't need to actually take our clothes off since we were just pretending to go swimming), and drove home. He even pointed out the tractors he saw on the highway on our way back to our house. This is definitely a cognitive development that has happened in maybe the last month. There were a few occasions before this when Oliver would hold his hand flat and tell me he was giving me a paper, and a month or so ago he started to pretend to play catch with Wes with an imaginary ball (they would even throw it to Lucy, and Oliver would go pick it up when she failed to catch it). But the amount of time and creativity and extent to which we're pretending is really at a new level. I absolutely love watching him when he does that. We have had to squash certain things -- he can rearranged the cushions on the couch, but the cushions cannot go on the floor, which is constantly covered in dog hair, the chairs for the truck could go on the gymnastics mat but not on his bed -- but he seems okay with those constraints.

Ollie also had another big "first" recently, taking in his first movie in an actual theater (or anywhere for that matter -- the kid hardly makes it through a ten-minute Berenstain Bears video, let alone an hour-long movie). I took him last Sunday afternoon to see the new Winnie the Pooh movie. I talked it up ahead of time, got us some popcorn, and was prepared to leave at any point if he just couldn't sit any longer. But he did pretty well. He really liked the popcorn. He did pretty well not talking too much and also talking very quietly when he did, which was another worry of mine. I hadn't counted on the fact that he wouldn't be heavy enough to keep the seat down, so I spent most of the movie with my leg or foot on his seat to keep it from collapsing up on him. (I think there actually is something available to address this issue, but I didn't want to take him out of the theater find out.) He and several other kids had a little trouble sitting through the previews -- "Where's Winnie the Pooh?" he kept asking. But once the movie came on, he was excited. He's too young to follow the overall plot line or most of the subplots, but he did enjoy seeing the characters that he's only recently come to recognize, and he knows some of their common dilemmas (Pooh is looking for honey, Eyeore has lost his tail, Tigger is bouncy). He laughed when other people laughed. Maybe 8-10 minutes before the movie was ending, he got out of his seat and was looking around. I tried to get him to sit in his seat or in my lap, but he wouldn't. He said he didn't want to leave, but he wasn't watching the movie anymore. We went out, but once out he said he would sit down. We went back in for the last three minutes or so and sat right in the front row with him on my lap. He really is probably too young for that long of a film, but I loved getting to see him experience this outing for the first time. We have one Winnie the Pooh book at home, and I downloaded the theme song and Tigger song for his playlist. I also rented an old Winnie the Pooh movie to let him watch during his nap time today. It's the kind of thing I would never do before, but I honestly didn't think he would sit through anything that long. It won't be a regular event quite yet, either. There are very few movies on the big screen that are appropriate and short enough for a kid his age, but it was a fun special event to have together.

The less fun phase we've going through right now is kind of an escalation of certain behaviors and kind of a return to previous ones. Oliver is both a little more sassy and much more sensitive to being reprimanded. He's been trying out certain responses to things I tell him -- "No you won't do that, mommy" or "You can't say that to me." I'm not sure where he learned these. They aren't really phrases we use with him (unlike the one Wes got back the other day -- "We talked about this..."). I've talked to him before about being bossy, and now I've started talking to him about being rude, too, hoping that the concepts start to sink in so that he can identify the behaviors and not just certain words or phrases to avoid. He gets time-outs if he persists in the behavior. He's been having a hard time sharing things with Emme, though he obviously enjoys her most of the time. Now that she's into his stuff, it's hard to help Ollie understand that some things that were "his" before (by virtue of being things that were not mine or Wes's) are now "theirs." The Legos, for example, are things that she can't hurt and can't hurt her. If she wants to play with them, there's no reason she shouldn't be allowed to. Unlike, for example, his puzzles, which she could destroy, or his Cookie Monster and blanket, which are sacrosanct as his alone. Unfortunately, this also extends to "her" toys that he wants to play with. He likes the large, colorful, plastic beads that can pop together and make a string. He pretends they're a train. Emme, of course, chases them around wanting to play, too, and Oliver gets upset when she tries to take them. He has learned from our admonishments that when he takes something from her, even something she's not supposed to have, that he needs to give her something in its place. Unfortunately, he also interprets that to me that he can take something he wants to play with and give her something else that she may or may not be interested in. He'll tell me "Emme doesn't want" whatever it is that she has an he wants. On top of all of this, he often gets very upset -- dramatic face contortions, crying with real tears, sobbing -- when he's told to do something, to not do something, or to do something different than what he is. This morning I was watching him out front with his lawn mower while Wes mowed. When I told him gently that he needed stay in a different part of the yard than where Wes was mowing, he scrunched up his face and started crying. Most of it is a show put on for effect, but sometimes he really is upset. This is a departure from either ignoring what he's told or willingly accepting it. The acceptance with sadness or anger is new. He used to react this way when my mom told him "no" or reprimanded him (always kindly), but never with me or Wes. I don't know if it's more of the settling into a world with baby sister or just a phase that's normal for his age, but I won't miss the sassiness or the dramatic tears if and when that phase passes (though as far as the sassiness and rudeness goes, I'm guessing it's a "comes and goes" kind of phase).

So those are the kids. Wonderful, adorable, challenging as ever. And blessedly at the moment, asleep.

(Back) To School

2011-08-13T21:17:00.006-05:00

On her first day

It's that time of year around here. The school buses are running, there's abundant school supplies out in Target, and I am once again being inconvenienced daily by the militant crossing guards on every side of every school within a ten mile radius of our house. I have another ten days or so until my first day of classes, and Oliver never really took a summer vacation, save our several road trips, so Emme is the only one who has really "started" school this week. She made it through her first five days in daycare quite well, and I even seem to have survived the ordeal without any mental breakdown. She's attending the same daycare as Oliver in one of the three infant rooms. Her teacher is one who had shown a lot of interest in her as she came and went with me to drop off and pick up Oliver the last few months, so that was nice. There are seven or eight kids in her room on any given day, and Emme is the second or third youngest.

It turned out to be a good time to start her. She's recently become much more interested in watching her surroundings and especially the people in them. She's a much more content baby now that she can roll and crawl so well, and the fact that she gets picked up less (as a result of her ability to move herself) means she's spitting up less. She hasn't really hit a point of obvious separation anxiety and never cried when I left her this week. And she has also been excited to see me when I go to pick her up, which is wonderful. Oliver loves helping drop her off in the morning and pick her up in the afternoon. Natalee, Emme's teacher, always asks Oliver if she can come back the next day. He said "no" the first time, but "yes" since then.

Ollie and I found this tractor when we were wandering
around campus waiting for Emme to wake up
one afternoon.

Emme and the other babies usually play in the morning. Now that she's settled into a regular nap schedule (amidst the noise and lights and other kids that inhabit the room while she naps), she sleeps for about 45-60 minutes between 9:30-10:30AM. She gets some baby food around 11:45, and then the whole room goes down for a nap around 12:30. The first few days she hardly slept -- the first day maybe just an hour total -- but by Thursday her second nap was almost three hours. As an added bonus, she's now going down for naps and bedtime (always in her crib -- no more swing in our room now that the temperatures have dropped a bit and the upstairs isn't so hot) without a peep, either because she's so tired or because she so appreciates the dark, quiet room. She has gone down as early as 6:30 some evenings, and has slept long and pretty soundly all week. I think we got one night straight through (maybe 7:00PM until 5:30AM, then she nursed and slept until 8AM), but most nights she still up once. I'm hoping that in the next month or two that will change, but I'm not prepared to do anything about it right now.

I wouldn't say there is a "good part" of daycare beyond the necessity for it -- it provides a safe, nurturing environment in my absence so that I can attend school and do my work --, but the best part of her being where she is is that I can go visit. I never did this with Oliver because I worked off campus and couldn't regularly visit. And the one time I did have lunch with him (during a week when parents were invited), he and the other kids cried so much upon our leaving without them that I never tried again. I could, and might, now, since I could prepare him for it and explain what was going to happen. But since I'm on campus full time now and can be consistent, I've decided to visit Emme daily if possible at least until she moves up to the next room. I go between 11:30 and 11:45, usually help feed her some baby food, nurse her if she wants it, and play with her for a little bit. I stay around thirty minutes, then give her one more kiss and leave. I'd like to think it helps keep her calm and happy as she gets ready for her nap, and I love the break from work. Even if I'm frustrated at work, I can just enjoy being with her for a few extra minutes.

There will be some difficult times to come -- she hasn't been sick yet but is sure to pick up something soon and need to stay home, she will eventually have a few days or weeks or fussing when dropped off, I will feel guilty for being away from her on the long days -- but so far, it's going well. Oliver continues to thrive, now in the three-year-old room. He's learned to use scissors, gets to play on the "big boy" playground with a slide and swings, and does learning centers each day. His new teachers love him as much as the last ones did, and he's in with some kids he knows and some that are new to us. The daycare director joked the other day that they like repeat business (siblings get preference to the center), and added kindly, "Especially your kids." I would like to think that Wes and I are primarily responsible for how well Ollie is doing so far, but I know that a lot of it is from things he's learned and experienced at daycare. And so I'm thanks for that, too, and hoping the same is true for all our kids.

It's only a matter of time

2011-08-13T20:53:00.000-05:00

Emme is mobile -- and she's getting into trouble with it, literally and figuratively. Yesterday, she found the dog bowl. Fortunately, it was empty of any dog food, but that was her first foray out of the main living room. She really can crawl quite well now, though she occasionally face plants if her hands slip under her, and she sometimes gets tired after a lot of crawling, especially on the hardwoods, and kind of lays her head down and fusses from all the effort. We don't need to move the dog bowls or put a gate up at the base of the stairs yet (the prior one that protected Oliver having been irreparably bent when I fell over it twice in my early pregnancy haze), but those will probably happen soon.

Emme also had to have her crib mattress lowered. She loves her mobile -- I need to video her watching it raptly move around in a circle above her head before she loses interest -- so much so that she recently started reaching up for the animals on it. Several times I was rinsing out diapers in the bathroom when I heard a clicking some. It turns out that Emme had "caught" one of the animals and was preventing the mobile from turning, even with the motor running. That seemed like a bad idea for several reasons, and so she got moved further away from it rather than take it down. It probably also saves her head from the changing table (that attaches to the top of the crib) when she crawls under it before going to sleep or after waking up.

I know it's really cliched to say that your kid is growing up too fast, and I really didn't feel that way with Oliver. I sometimes am startled to see the nearly three-year-old he is in front of me and remember him at Emmeline's age, but he seems to have grown up right in line with the time that had passed. Perhaps it's because I've been so much busier this time around with school and work and no maternity leave, perhaps it's because I've had a second child to keep an eye on during the early baby days, or perhaps it's because she's learning to do things earlier that Ollie did, but I do feel like Emme's little baby days have flown by and she'll be one before I know it or am entirely ready for it. Regardless, it's still fun watching her learn new things and delight in life.

Seven months old

2011-08-13T15:42:00.002-05:00

Sibling affection

2011-08-01T20:58:00.000-05:00

Wes and I decided to have more than one child for many reasons. This is one of them.

In honor of World Breastfeeding Week

2011-08-01T20:53:00.000-05:00

Emme is almost seven months old, and breastfeeding is going well. She's more easily distracted when nursing, so I sometimes have to take her up to her room to get her to eat well, but when she's really hungry, she eats quite a bit. When she's finished eating, she kind of stops, looks up at me, and gets a huge smile on her face. Kind of like she suddenly realizes I'm there, too. She always has a long stretch at night without nursing, and recently we've had several nine, ten, eleven, even one twelve hour stretch. Thank you, baby.

Now that I've had the experience of nursing two babies and sharing those experiences with other new moms, I know a few things to be true for me. That, like seemingly everything in motherhood and parenting, is about the best anyone can say.

Breastfeeding may be best, but it's also, in my opinion, easiest. When the baby is hungry, the food is ready. Simple as that. When Wes has, on the odd occasion, tried to give Emme a bottle late at night or early in the morning so that I can get some more sleep, I end up waking to the baby's cries and then staying awake through the whole thing. We learned pretty quickly that if I'm in the same house as a nursing baby, it's easier for me to nurse than for him to try to help with bottle. The flip side to this is that breastfeeding is easy because I am doing it. It makes it easier on everyone, yes, but I'm also doing all the work. It's a reality that is important to acknowledge even as I laud the act of breastfeeding. So often it's all or nothing when women talk about nursing -- either it's wonderful and everyone should do it or it's horrible and no one should be pushed to do it. I think it's helpful to realize that, like with everything, it's somewhere in the middle. A lot of work for mom, but with a lot of benefits for her and baby. Cheaper than formula, but then time is money, and there's a lot of time involved in breastfeeding.

For me, some breastfeeding paraphernalia has been really helpful. I didn't use the Boppy much with Emme because I was just more comfortable nursing, but I used it a lot with Oliver. I did use a nipple shield very briefly when trying to get Oliver off the bottle he had used during his stay in the NICU and onto the breast. And I definitely use my breast pump. A lot. With Oliver, I used it right away at the suggestion of the lactation consultant who wasn't sure (along with everyone else) exactly how long he would be in the NICU. Maybe because of that, I had a great milk supply early on (I pumped in addition to nursing, not in lieu, which is an important distinction). With Emme, I pumped literally the third day because I was going back to classes and wanted to have enough milk to make it through the day. I managed to pump two or three four-ounce bottles in two or three days, which was more than enough, and since then I've basically made an extra bottle a day. I get up, I nurse, and then I pump. Until this week, when I decided that the 700+ ounces of frozen milk in the bottom of my chest freezer was, quite simply, enough. No need to stockpile any further. Notably, though, this massive stockpile made it possible for me to leave Emme for five days to go to New Orleans and seven days to go to San Diego without having to worry about having enough milk for her. Now, though, I know there's plenty there, and as long as it doesn't dwindle past about 200 ounces, I know I can do the bit of traveling I have planned this fall without worry. So for the past three or four days, I dropped that pumping in the morning. I nurse all day, but since she's not getting any bottles, I'm not making any either. Just dropping that one pumping session first thing in the morning was hard. Some combination of that and her sleeping longer at night meant that I had a lot of extra milk built up in the morning. Unfortunately, the only way to get the body to stop making the extra is to not express it. So I went a couple of days with a very full chest and sleeping on my back. I think we've about figured things out. I will continue to try and make just enough, and then when I get close to weaning, I can do it more slowly than I did with Oliver, using up my stash a bottle a day so that I dry up a little more slowly.

I didn't use a nursing cover with Oliver, but I also rarely nursed in public. Neither of my children had any respect for my modesty while breastfeeding, and while some women may feel comfortable flashing a little breast while nursing (which is fine) or are able to do it more discreetly or with a receiving blanket, neither worked for me. With Emme, I got one and have used it any number of times. She can latch on and off without me worrying about covering up, I'm more comfortable nursing, and she doesn't get so distracted by wherever we are. As an added bonus, I've used it as a coverup while pumping hands-free at my sister's house (with her husband around) and even while driving. Some people argue that a nursing cover just makes nursing seem even more taboo -- something that shouldn't be done in public -- but for me it makes nursing out of the house possible and something I'm more willing to do, which seems to be the goal. And if a little kid asks their mom what I'm doing or someone walks by me at the mall and puts it all together, they're still getting the message that breastfeeding out of the house is necessary and well, just fine.

I do enjoy breastfeeding. I love getting to snuggle with my babies and stare at them while they eat. I love being able to meet their needs and often instantly soothe them with the breast. I love this further wonderment in what my body can do to create and sustain life. I am thankful that my body has been able to do this with not a whole lot of challenges, as it's not always the case.

But I must say, as much as I enjoy it, I'm not someone who is especially interested in extended breastfeeding. I am not a small-busted woman, and breastfeeding doesn't help things. I have an ample milk supply and strong let-down, so I wear nursing pads every day. I'm not one of those women who can put on a nursing tank and just go out for the day -- there has to be layers of support (this time I at least learned to wear nursing bras with an underwire). I'm in school and working, so I have to pump to keep up my supply when I'm not with her, which I can't imagine doing long term. Basically, by about a year, when the baby can move to cow's milk and no formula is necessary, I'm ready to have my body back. I shed my last few pounds with Ollie when I finally weaned, and my sense is that will happen this time, too. I recognize the merits of extended breastfeeding, but at some point everyone has to decide to wean, and this is my decision. One of my good friends nursed her daughter until later than I did and wrote a lot and thoughtfully about her decision to finally wean. Another friend of mine is still nursing her 2+-year-old daughter even as she is expecting her second. Others made it to six months and called it enough. And they all made good decisions, in my opinion, because they made informed ones. They all sought help and support and information when they wanted it or as they needed it, and then chose what to do with it. I think that's what most "pro-breastfeeding" women want for each other. There are those, I suppose, who really do judge others who don't breastfeed or don't breastfeed "long enough" by their estimation. But I think most of us who have had good experiences just want the same for others, and so want others to have the help and support and information necessary to let that happen. However, I'd like to think that any reasonable woman recognizes her experience is not the same as others, and that the decision to nurse or not, to wean and when, is each woman's alone.

So on this, the first day of World Breastfeeding Week, I say -- Go forth and nurse. Nurse at home in the nursery and on your living room couch (in front of some show that your infant should certainly not be watching, for me Law and Order: SVU). Nurse at the mall and in a restaurant. Nurse for you and for your baby. And if you choose not to, just make sure it's an informed choice and not one that results from lack of help or support or information. And when you choose to wean, don't feel guilty about it for even one minute if it's the right time for you and your baby (knowing, even as I write this, that I felt a little guilty when I weaned Ollie and will again when I wean Emme). And if breastfeeding was horrible for you, don't feel guilty about that either. There's just only so much a person can handle, and no one should suffer through their baby's infancy because breastfeeding just sucks (pun intended). And if breastfeeding was wonderful for you, tell others about it. Tell you daughter about it (and your sons -- Ollie has definitely been a convert to breastfeeding!). Because the more little girls (and boys) and teenage girls (and boys) and newly married women (and men) and newly pregnant women (and their husbands) hear about and see women breastfeeding -- the ups and downs, the initial struggles and eventual successes -- the more common it will be in society. Which is, of course, the goal of World Breastfeeding Week.

A hug from the high chair

2011-07-29T13:11:00.000-05:00

Inching along

2011-07-27T16:06:00.000-05:00

Emme had her six-month pediatrician's appointment today. She is 26 3/4 inches long (75th percentile), 15 lbs., 9oz., (35th percentile), and has a 16 3/8 inch head circumference (25th percentile). She is still almost a full pound smaller than Oliver was at four months, but she's growing right in line with her growth curve, so all is well.

She is also nearly crawling, if not actually so. She gets on her belly and uses some combination of her arms, knees, and feet to inch forward (and sometimes backwards), along with rolling to get where she wants to go. And now it is all intentional. She sees something, she wants it, and she goes after it. Often to include Oliver's toys. Fortunately, he finds that funny right now. I'm not sure how long that will last, though. Her postures look a little like the three-point stance of football players on the line as she reaches for things. She's also started making some new noises that include the "b" and "m" consonants. She has several times in the last two days said something that sounds like "mama," and even though it's not really and she's certainly not directing it at me, it's hilarious (and wonderful) to hear her say it.

Ollie came to the doctor's appointment, too, this morning. It was early, so I didn't want to drop him at daycare beforehand, and he's been asking to go to the hospital or the doctor since Emme was born. I told him that Emme would get some shots and that he could hold her hand and make her feel better when she got them. He then kept talking about the "shots store" and that we were going to pick up some shots for Emme ("not for me," he would remind me). She did a really great job -- didn't even cry from the first one and just a few seconds after the others. Ollie found the whole thing strange but interesting and really liked that he got a sticker (a Lego construction sticker at that) at the end, even though he wasn't the patient!

Back in three more months and off to the plastic surgeon in a few weeks to make plans for the next surgery. With any luck, she'll be walking (or close) before that happens so that the surgery and cast don't delay her.

How Oliver paid for his week with the grandparents

2011-07-20T18:04:00.002-05:00

How Oliver spent his week with the grandparents

2011-07-20T18:03:00.003-05:00

Enjoying the morning paper

2011-07-16T11:19:00.000-05:00

Pretty in pink

2011-07-15T17:42:00.000-05:00

Emme has moved up to her six month clothes. I have a few 3-6 month items that she still wears, especially t-shirts, but she needs the bigger size in bottoms and onesies and rompers because of her diaper and long torso. This is something I got from Zulily. It's the kind of cutsie, girlie, pink thing I would never wear myself but don't mind putting on my daughter until she's old enough to complain about it.

Window shopping

2011-07-15T17:38:00.002-05:00

I had a lovely day today, out walking around the city doing a lot of window shopping a little shopping and buying. Naturally, most of what I saw was for the kids.

I found this at a store that sells only outdoor swings
and hammocks. There's also an elephant version.
(This is a moose, if you can't tell.)

A matching game of tools at one of the several
toy stores I went in today.

I saw this and another John Deer sign
at a vintage signs and tees shop.

And these at a sock store where I got
my mother a really great $7 gift.

And lest you think I forgot Emme,
a tshirt that I actually bought.
It just seems fitting.

Always on my mind

2011-07-15T09:44:00.001-05:00

When my sister-in-law came to Chicago about three years ago for my baby shower, she was the mother of two young boys. It was her first long weekend away from them, and while she enjoyed the chance to relax, see the city, and hang out with the ladies (my mom, sister, and I), it was clear that her boys were not far from her mind. Every time she saw something they would love -- an El train, a helicopter, a Metra train, a city bus -- she would comment on it as though one of her kids were there with her and sometimes take a picture.

Now, two days into our vacation in San Diego, I totally get it. Wes and I have called every tractor we've seen on this trip. We even ate at a restaurant called The Tractor Room last night and took a picture of the big, old blue tractor out front. We made a highlights reel of video footage from our walk through Balboa Park and sent it to my parents so Ollie could see all the things we thought he would've liked if he were here -- an airplane landing low over the park (the airport is right in the city), a large fountain, some theatrical performers, even a drummer.

Wes and I remind ourselves that while Ollie would certainly enjoy parts of this trip, others -- like the four-hour plane ride -- he would not. And more to the point, there are many parts of this trip we wouldn't get to enjoy if he and Emme were here -- the long walks, the restaurants, even the chance to get some work done, like I did yesterday. So we'll keep spotting tractors, taking pictures, and sleeping in -- because like all good things, vacations, too, come to an end.

Six months old

2011-07-13T20:54:00.004-05:00

The geyser

2011-07-11T11:57:00.000-05:00

The Four "S" Wind Down Ritual

2011-07-11T11:47:00.001-05:00

Smiling

Swinging

Sleeping

Slumber

How she move

2011-07-11T11:33:00.000-05:00

Emmeline is definitely on the move these days. She doesn't just roll over anymore. She rolls and rolls and rolls. I don't think it's intentional -- as in, I want to get over there, and so I'm going to roll that way. But she definitely is trying to get around. I put her down in the middle of the rug, and within a minute or so, she's across the room. She only stops when she runs into the couch or the side table or the wall. When she's on her belly she makes clear moves to try and crawl. She can get her knees up under her and sometimes gets into some kind of three point stance trying to reach out for a toy, but she hasn't actually gotten far in her attempts.

When Emme does get where she's going, she either puts whatever she's found in her mouth -- the base of the Exersaucer, the bottom of her car seat, my shoelaces -- or wails because she can't roll any further. I think it will be a few weeks still until she's really moving well in a crawl, but I don't think it will be long, either.

AD

She walks

He splashes

Chicken noodle soup from the Crock Pot

Big girl

Three things about this picture

Goldilocks (and the bear)

Howdy, dudey

Hair today (gone tomorrow)

One year old

Dear Husband, Part 56

That's silly

Drying up

Steps in the right direction

Trash talk

Walk softly

A boy and his drill

So this is Christmas

Christmas Eve jammies

Where we walk

Where do giggles come from?

Dear Husband, Part 55

Behind bars

Eleven months old

Filet o' baby

Quoth the Oliver

Anticipation...is keepin' me waitin'

Oasis

Look

In parts

It's 8:00 AM. Do you know where your children are?

Bed bugs

Ten months old

Sleeping through the night

Jammin'

Oliver on the wall

More from family photo day

A little bit of Emmeline in my life

Per Aunt Laura's request

Oliver does Chicago

We are family

Walker-ing

Oliver tractor

Beautiful baby

Double wide

Honeysuckle Hills Farm

Two little monkeys jumping on the bed...

I am not bald.

The preschool perpective

French kiss

Sharing a joke

Nine months old

And I think it's gonna rain today

Vaccinated

Thank you, Grandma!

Hot child in the city

Arach-nophobia

A hot little number

Everybody's swingin'

Zebra, sheep, and pig

A pretty crappy day

Once upon a weekend

Vintage Gymboree goldfish and very small Chucks

E-Mm-e

Community service

(More than) eight months old

Tooth

Standing

Strolling

Dirt and dirtier

Oliver, photographer extraordinaire

Having a daddy moment

The big 0-3!

The birthday boy

The year of why

Goosed

Bugged out

Bugged

The rodent

Immobilized